Its the Little Things/A Grambling Grad Speaks/Hampton Hugs

Its the Little Things

I roll over to the Cartoon Network blasting. Some anime about demon spirits skipping generations...who knows. I reach under my pillow for my cell to check the time. 5:38 am Saturday November 5. Why the hell am I up at 530?! Its not a work day. Damn this 'biological clock' nonsense. I close my eyes, roll over a few times, and try to force myself back into slumber. To no avail. I reach back under the pillow for my glasses. Yes, I leave them under my pillow if I remember to take them off at all. Sometimes I just sleep with them on. I put them on and flip the channels for a few minutes. Whats on at 6 am on a Saturday? Nothing. I decided to go downstairs for awhile. At least downstairs I have digital cable and On Demand (what a blessing). I open my door and decide to make a pit stop at my bathroom. I take off my bonnet and untie my scarf. Oh yea. No more wrap. (sad face for a second)...I shake my locs (happy face good times for a second)...and stare in the mirror. I run my right hand across my head. I reach the nape of my neck and run my fingers across something soft and bumpy. What the hell is on my neck? Oh my God. Its NAPS. THREE LITTLE NAPS HAVE MADE MY NECK THEIR HOME! Should I be embarrased? You cant see them. My hair covers it. But I know they exist. Its like a dirty secret. The little thing that will ruin my chance at the presidency. The thing that is going to keep me from winning the lottery. Its the damn little things.

A Grambling Grad Speaks

(Let me introduce this by saying I am not a racist. I did not make these comments. I am just quoting a coworker. If you are offended who cares?! Its life.)

I work with a group of eight. Just one man. A Grambling Grad. He told me after he saw my Hampton Alumni mug that doubles as a pen holder on my desk. "Oh...you went to Hampton? You must be stuck up. That explains why you are so quiet. I partied there once. The girls there are wild. Good times (he looks off in the distance...)" Anyways, after he found out I too went to an HBCU he took me under his wing. During training (the week after homecoming) I fell asleep at his desk. Yes, I know. HORRIBLE. His response: "I dont know what dude did to you this past weekend...but he is obviously not the right guy for you. You clearly cant hang. Stop fakin like you can. Now you at work falling asleep. Damn young people." He then told me to go outside and shake it off, which I immediately did. A few weeks later I was working on a task in one of the rooms with him. He starts talking about ways to deal with men. Mind you, I do not talk about my personal life in any way while I'm at work. Its not like hes heard me gripe about anything. For the most part, I dont talk at all. Yet and still, on the way to get fingerprinted he asked me about my boo. I immediately let him no that my 'boo' doesnt exist. His response: "What happened? He with a white girl now? You cant compete with a white girl. I can tell you arent wild enough. My man...he had a white girl. Looked her in her eyes and said 'hook up my man' and she did it. Head right there. It was great. You cant compete with that. You probably try to make 'a nigga' a 'man'. Nah. You cant do that shorty. Some guys arent men. Suck it up. Stop tripping off the due. Hes not for you. He probably aint about shit anyways. And here you are, working, trying to find your place in the world. He probably calls you in the middle of the night on some drunk bullshit like 'i love you.' Dont answer the phone anymore. Hes not on your level. Find a man on your level. You'll be happier." For those in "The Know"...how sick is that? I dont know that man and yet he told me my story. What a damn shame...well he is great. The funniest person at work. And I appreciate words of wisdom from ex-manwhores.

Hampton Hugs

I didnt mention this after homecoming, but I hate hugs now. Its so awkward to see people that you werent really friends with and then be forced into an embrace as though you care. Dont get me wrong...when I saw Joshy and he grabbed me up a tear or two did drop. That was a real hug. I really missed my friend. But hugging joe blow from english 102...why? If I dont know you name (and I'm really good with names) then why are you opening your arms to me. The worst part about the hug situation is that the one person I wanted a hug from...gave me a damn handshake. What kind of nonsense?! I didnt know how to respond...but I did converse after that. But a handshake. How awkward. Can someone please send me the hug rulebook so I dont make a jackass of myself next year?