So, as some of you know, I have been having 'issues' with the whole idea of sex for awhile. I have done my best to avoid the act and the topic of conversation but apparently it is unavoidable. Anyways, maybe if I discuss them openly I will be able to get over it or grow from it or something. Someone needs to break out and 'drop some knowledge' (gotta love those horrid cliches) because I need it.
Topic 1: "I Dont Have Sex Anymore"
In July I met Keva's 'Special' (i will refer to him as Special from here on out). Special and his best friend (who I will refer to as Photo) met Keva and I at a bar/grill. They are/were cool. Good conversation...blah blah blah. Somehow (like always) sex came up in conversation. I responded to the conversation with "I dont have sex anymore." I'm sure you have all heard me say this and I was serious when I said it. It was/is the truth. Photo just didnt like that. Apparently I 'mislead' people. Photo mustve thought I looked like a slut. Moving on...Special later lambasted me about saying "I dont have sex" to people. (As a sidenote, this particular conversation has made me cry twice. I feel so misunderstood.) He said it pushes people away. Is he right? Or do I become a target? Do guys feel like they should just call to see if they can get me to do something with them (yea...that was just for you)? Or does it just further isolate me from the heterosexual male population.
Topic 2: The Ownership
Are you entitled to something because you have sex with someone? I used to think you did. And then I met him and I found out I was DEAD wrong. But when did sex become so casual? Am I the only person who associates feelings/emotions with the act? Why would you want to share your body with so many people like its not a temple? A friend's mother said that sex was a natural step in the progression from friendship to relationship. Is this true? Are people supposed to have sex with their boo before 'wifin' a person...like a test run? And if so, how do you know when you make that next step? Doesnt it just further blur lines?
Topic 3: Piercings and Sex
Ah yes. The most annoying part of my life. "Oh she got a tongue ring. She must like to give head." I dont get it...well thats not the truth. I get it a little. And even had a few thoughts about a few men I know with tongue rings (although I was more disturbed than intrigued). But, girls without tongue rings give head all the time. Dudes with and without piercings and things do just as much as dudes without. Lets take this a step further. We all know I had a moment in time where I got real deep into the whole 'body modification' thing but who cares? It means nothing...at least with me. What I have attached to me has what to do with who sees it? And if you dont know beforehand and then find out, do you assume I'm a slut just becasue of my rings and things?
...
So while writing this blog I decided that its not me. I'm not wrong for avoiding any sexual act with dudes who are flat out the worst or with any dude at all. If I am not appreciated for all that I am then you can BEAT IT. And feel free to tell me that is why you are walking away. I can deal with it cause I'm all about honesty. I dont give a damn that you are going to medical school (yep...you) or that you are 'fresh'. Those things dont matter to me. I like clothes but you take them off and exactly what are you left with? I like smart men but not if you are all about beatin it up and thats it. Thats not intersting. You (the universal 'you' that is), as a grown ass man should desire more from a woman than ass. What about support and conversation? What about friendship and compatability? And what is this crap about sexin before you will even kiss a chick? That is SO disturbing. Now, I'm not saying every relationship is meant to be some long lasting fulfilling situation. But damn...help me out here...I dont get it...
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY STINKY!!!!!!!)
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1 comment:
Yea...I don't like the "Matters of Flesh" thing ... it sounds like the name of some high-class British zombie movie or something.
Anyway, I get what you're saying. Personally, I just can't get into getting really intimate with anyone for whom I don't have feelings and care about.
I've gone without sex long enough to the point where I can't see myself acting on sexual urges with somebody I don't share anything with other than just a physical attraction. I don't want to bash people who do, but I just guess I'm wired a little differently.
Sometimes I've thought that perhaps I've missed out because of that but I'm at peace with it.
And I don't agree that you have to have sex with someone before you get into a relationship with them. I'm living proof!
And as far as piercings go, to each his own is what I say. But you're just gonna have to suck it up and deal with the stigmas people have, I guess lol c'est la vie.
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