First off, let me say that I did do a blog last week. But my mother's computer went berserk and I lost the post. I was so annoyed that I just said f it and went without posting. But since I have gotten some dirty ims from people about my lack of posting I'll try to step my game up. (following in your footsteps hill)
*Work
The company I work for had a Christmas party this past weekend. I went...didnt really have an option. Anyways, they give awards at the party every year. I won Rookie of the Year. Didnt expect it because we all know I am not thrilled to have to go to work everyday. But whatever. I got it...and a check. Make that 2 checks because I got a Christmas bonus too. So this week I am happy at work. I'm sure I will go back to disgruntled next week.
*Nicknames
I have never really had a nickname in my life. My family (and the Marables) call me Jenn, but besides that I have always gone by Jennifer. The people at my job refuse to accept that I like Jennifer. They have each given me a nickname. Smalls, Grinch, Snow Bunny, Little Foot, and Rook Smallwood. People are crazy. Its not me. But I really dont like nicknames...seriously...I hate it.
*Love (or is that Lust)
There is this guy. I thought I really liked this guy. I really might like him...but I cant tell because I cant get past this thing he has. Now, he is not the only person walking the planet with this thing...but the thing is so great that it deserves applause everytime its encountered. I'm not sure if he knows I'm in love with this thing but I really am. I would possibly marry and reproduce for that thing. It really is a great thing. Not sexual...just a thing. A really wonderful thing. I told Brooks about the great thing. She knew too! I had no idea it was a widespread thing. But maybe I need to find someone with that thing a little closer to home. I'm bout to break out singing "1 Thing". Damn that thing is great. Sometimes I pick up the phone and call just because I know the thing exists. Its really great. For real...
*Its Cold
I dont have much to say about the ridiculous weather, but if it gets any colder or even maintains the 20 degree weather now, I will freeze and die. It sucks. I cant deal well with it. I need one of those ski jump suits.
*Tookie
Did you really think anyone was really going to let Tookie live? I dont know if that man was guilty or not, but I do know that he was black and found guilty of murdering 4. It is very unrealistic to believe that he would get to live. I, of course, am always against the death penalty. So, R.I.P. Tookie.
*Richard Pryor
It is sad that Pryor died. But that man had MS for like 20 years for real. MS is a horrible disease. I'm sure he was probably in pain. I'm sure it pained him even more to be unable to perform after he got sick. So, to the funniest man ever, R.I.P.
*Locs
My hair makes or breaks my days. Last week was a bad week. My hair was a mess. This week...back to fresh and feeling good about it. Its sad, but such is life. Next week I'll be mellow. When I get to week 3 I will be back to sad.
*Jaspers
Who told everyone that Jaspers was a club? Its not. And the food isnt good. Why do people have on the serious club outfits when they are in there? I dont understand it. What am I missing? Can someone please explain. I am not impressed with anything going on in Jaspers, and if possible, will avoid it. But please PG County, break it down for me. What is with Club Jaspers?!
*Email Addresses
SOMEONE felt they had to call me out on my long email addresses. I wish Mr. Keith was the first...but people complain about it all the time. Maybe that is why bammas dont email me. But I cant disagree, my email addresses are long. I'm sure people get all ready to send me a message and decide against it because the keystrokes for my name are just too much. If you are one with that issue, please let me know. I have 2 short email addresses too.
*Anthony Hamilton
I am NOT impressed with Mr. Hamilton's new album. The man can sing and is CLEARLY talented. But its just not all coming together like it did with his first album. There are a couple songs on there that I am in love with though, so not all is lost.
I am tired of typing and have, quite possibly, run out of words anyways. Who knows when I'll post again...
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Response
Keva, my oh so perceptive best friend, knows me better than most. She always seems to get things about me that go right over others heads. I have been blessed to have a few people like that in my life (Mommy, Erica, and Hill), but Keva is different. It wasnt always that way but as we have grown, so has our friendship...
Anyways, Keva has a blog too. I read it (of course) and comment sometimes. She posted the other day: Brooklyn Stand Up. Now, I just KNEW what she was talking about. Understood all she was saying and was nodding my head as my eyes went over her words describing her special friend, a native of Brooklyn. So the other day when we were out the blog came up in conversation. But I was wrong.
Apparently that post was about me. I went back and read it again. And it is. If you know me you'll get it. So read it. And enjoy...
Anyways, Keva has a blog too. I read it (of course) and comment sometimes. She posted the other day: Brooklyn Stand Up. Now, I just KNEW what she was talking about. Understood all she was saying and was nodding my head as my eyes went over her words describing her special friend, a native of Brooklyn. So the other day when we were out the blog came up in conversation. But I was wrong.
Apparently that post was about me. I went back and read it again. And it is. If you know me you'll get it. So read it. And enjoy...
Once Again
So...its hard to find time to actually sit down and try to blog about any one topic. I'll do it this week. But for today, another quick rundown.
1. It has become clear that deciding to loc my hair is going to be harder than I expected.
2. T-Pain's "I'm Sprung" is like my favorite song right now. Mind you, I do understand that he isnt the most talented performer out, but his song does make me tap my foot. And no, I'm not sprung. I just like the song.
3. I told Hill I would call her and STILL havent done it. I feel real bad cause it really slipped my mind. But when I listened to her voicemail saying "Jennifer your best is just not good enough" I felt like a bad friend. SORRY HILL I LOVE YOU STILL!
4. I broke my ipod earphones on friday while I was at work. I was PISSED. But its Sunday and I have already replaced them so whatever.
5. I made a phone call to someone other than my mother or keva or erica (extremely rare) and though they didnt answer, they called back and left a message acknowledging that they understood how difficult it was for me to make that call. I appreciated that.
6. I stood someone up Saturday because I felt sick and fell asleep. I feel bad cause this is the second time I did that to this particular person.
7. Keva told me that I am not receptive to being approached/hit on by men. Shes right. I always think people are just telling me too much information or trying to play me. Imma work on it though.
8. I hate when people take pictures of me. Its disturbing how uncomfortable I am knowing that there are pictures of me floating around that arent in my posession.
9. My mother told me I need to do a Christmas list for the family. But nothing I want is under 200 and I think its selfish to ask for gifts like that from anyone but my parents. But I cant just make stuff up cause then I wont use it and bammas will be mad. What a dilemma.
10. I am in love with Michael Kors. My mother even was drooling over one of his bags yesterday. Imma die if I dont get one real soon. I dont care how much they cost dammit. People buy Coach, why cant I buy Kors?!
11. I put my prom pic on Facebook. Everytime I look at it I laugh. I just KNEW i was grown. And I so far from it...
Okay. Done. Imma blog again by Tuesday with a real blog...
1. It has become clear that deciding to loc my hair is going to be harder than I expected.
2. T-Pain's "I'm Sprung" is like my favorite song right now. Mind you, I do understand that he isnt the most talented performer out, but his song does make me tap my foot. And no, I'm not sprung. I just like the song.
3. I told Hill I would call her and STILL havent done it. I feel real bad cause it really slipped my mind. But when I listened to her voicemail saying "Jennifer your best is just not good enough" I felt like a bad friend. SORRY HILL I LOVE YOU STILL!
4. I broke my ipod earphones on friday while I was at work. I was PISSED. But its Sunday and I have already replaced them so whatever.
5. I made a phone call to someone other than my mother or keva or erica (extremely rare) and though they didnt answer, they called back and left a message acknowledging that they understood how difficult it was for me to make that call. I appreciated that.
6. I stood someone up Saturday because I felt sick and fell asleep. I feel bad cause this is the second time I did that to this particular person.
7. Keva told me that I am not receptive to being approached/hit on by men. Shes right. I always think people are just telling me too much information or trying to play me. Imma work on it though.
8. I hate when people take pictures of me. Its disturbing how uncomfortable I am knowing that there are pictures of me floating around that arent in my posession.
9. My mother told me I need to do a Christmas list for the family. But nothing I want is under 200 and I think its selfish to ask for gifts like that from anyone but my parents. But I cant just make stuff up cause then I wont use it and bammas will be mad. What a dilemma.
10. I am in love with Michael Kors. My mother even was drooling over one of his bags yesterday. Imma die if I dont get one real soon. I dont care how much they cost dammit. People buy Coach, why cant I buy Kors?!
11. I put my prom pic on Facebook. Everytime I look at it I laugh. I just KNEW i was grown. And I so far from it...
Okay. Done. Imma blog again by Tuesday with a real blog...
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Extra Quick Rundown
LeMaine said something about me not blogging...so heres a quick rundown of my humdrum life...
1. My little cousin Adrienne (who is evil, yet adorable) started a blog. When she commented on my blog I was at a loss for who amth was...but whatever.
2. A. LeMaine dropped off the face of the earth for a minute (oh where oh where has my A. LeMaine gone...oh where oh where could he be???). But hes still an ass.
3. My best friend found out she was ruthless this weekend. THE SECRET IS OUT! I'm actually not the mean one.
4. I got these Diadoras I asked AK to buy me for my bday last year. He couldnt find them in my size and I got these nikes which I'm not sure I ever wore instead, but I the diadoras now. I LOVE them so much. I love them more than I love that tan nine west bag I was carrying for like 3 weeks straight (which is a serious run for me). Imma just wear them with everything. F matching!
5. I got my phone. I should say that with joy, but now I dont have a signal in my house. But whatever. Direct Connect works in the house and you can text me.
6. The Grambling Grad (mentioned in the previous blog...I will now call GG) came to my desk with a cd like 'listen to this.' It was Meshell NDegeocello's "Comfort Woman." For those who dont know, shes like my second favorite musician ever (behind Bilal Oliver, my husband). But GG obviously likes tight music. He also had a new Roots cd that I didnt know existed. But it was just remixes so whatever.
7. GG is hilarious. He makes me laugh at work. He plays people constantly. I have had some serious conversations with him too, but I cant explain that in a quick blog...another tale for another time...
8. My hair itches. Its not a good thing.
9. I think I may have left a pair of glasses in the hotel during homecoming. I'm VERY unhappy about that.
10. My mother has a paper due next week. You know what that means..."Jenn can you look at this again for me please...well what does this mean...well how can I change this paragraph...well can you help...BLAH BLAH BLAH." Not happy about this at all. But its my mother...do I really have a choice?
11. I feel like karma is getting me back for all the phone calls I didnt answer. I have called 3 different people who straight did not return my phone calls. I want to be mad. But it just wouldnt be right since that has been my m.o. all year.
12. I talk to Jealous (hm...I dont think I have talked about him before but its an ex boyfriend and he hates that I call him that...but I dont like using real names so whatever) all day now.
13. Calling Jenn between 3 and 4 am UNACCEPTABLE. I dont care who you are!
14. I'm tired of that "Facebook Livin" link. I refuse to put it into my blog. I'm not addicted to facebook. I mean, I check it, but I wont die if I cant.
15. SOMEONE (I cant think of a witty nickname for you) is making a movie. I heard about it buddy. Can I get an offer for a part? I'm oh so serious!
I'm tired of typing. I'm done. Any thoughts?
1. My little cousin Adrienne (who is evil, yet adorable) started a blog. When she commented on my blog I was at a loss for who amth was...but whatever.
2. A. LeMaine dropped off the face of the earth for a minute (oh where oh where has my A. LeMaine gone...oh where oh where could he be???). But hes still an ass.
3. My best friend found out she was ruthless this weekend. THE SECRET IS OUT! I'm actually not the mean one.
4. I got these Diadoras I asked AK to buy me for my bday last year. He couldnt find them in my size and I got these nikes which I'm not sure I ever wore instead, but I the diadoras now. I LOVE them so much. I love them more than I love that tan nine west bag I was carrying for like 3 weeks straight (which is a serious run for me). Imma just wear them with everything. F matching!
5. I got my phone. I should say that with joy, but now I dont have a signal in my house. But whatever. Direct Connect works in the house and you can text me.
6. The Grambling Grad (mentioned in the previous blog...I will now call GG) came to my desk with a cd like 'listen to this.' It was Meshell NDegeocello's "Comfort Woman." For those who dont know, shes like my second favorite musician ever (behind Bilal Oliver, my husband). But GG obviously likes tight music. He also had a new Roots cd that I didnt know existed. But it was just remixes so whatever.
7. GG is hilarious. He makes me laugh at work. He plays people constantly. I have had some serious conversations with him too, but I cant explain that in a quick blog...another tale for another time...
8. My hair itches. Its not a good thing.
9. I think I may have left a pair of glasses in the hotel during homecoming. I'm VERY unhappy about that.
10. My mother has a paper due next week. You know what that means..."Jenn can you look at this again for me please...well what does this mean...well how can I change this paragraph...well can you help...BLAH BLAH BLAH." Not happy about this at all. But its my mother...do I really have a choice?
11. I feel like karma is getting me back for all the phone calls I didnt answer. I have called 3 different people who straight did not return my phone calls. I want to be mad. But it just wouldnt be right since that has been my m.o. all year.
12. I talk to Jealous (hm...I dont think I have talked about him before but its an ex boyfriend and he hates that I call him that...but I dont like using real names so whatever) all day now.
13. Calling Jenn between 3 and 4 am UNACCEPTABLE. I dont care who you are!
14. I'm tired of that "Facebook Livin" link. I refuse to put it into my blog. I'm not addicted to facebook. I mean, I check it, but I wont die if I cant.
15. SOMEONE (I cant think of a witty nickname for you) is making a movie. I heard about it buddy. Can I get an offer for a part? I'm oh so serious!
I'm tired of typing. I'm done. Any thoughts?
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
I Bet You Think This Post Is About You (dont you...dont you...dont you...)
*The title...am I the only one who knows the song?
*I'm real good for a nasty comment. Its so much easier for me to be a jerk than it is for me to fall back and leave stuff alone. Maybe thats why I cant help but to attack you (intentionally or otherwise) via my blog. Attacking you comes so naturally to me. Its like thinking. It just happens. So when I sit down at a computer and begin to type a post, my thoughts inevitably turn to you. Not just you of course. I think of Erin and Keva and Joshy and Erica and Billy and Bj and Coney and B. But you enter my thoughts too. Immediately following the thought of you is the piercing sting of regret. That feeling I have never before felt in my life and hope to never feel again. And all I can do to temporarily ease that tension is to attack you. And I do. Its so easy. Dont get me wrong, we are all flawed individuals. But you wear your issues on your sleeve. Maybe thats just how I see it now. I attack you because I love you. Because I always will. Because I cant control it. I attack because I know that I can never take back what I gave you. That makes me mad. At one point it made me sad, real sad. But now I'm just pissed off. I wish I could erase it all. (Well...maybe not all of it. I think of Schrom Hills with a speical fondness) If I could, believe me, I would. I would erase you from my memory and erase the memories of me from yours. It would be so much easier that way. It makes me a little sad to say that. I know you well enough to know that makes you a little sad too. Such is life I guess. Everything cant have a happy ending.
*Why do people think I like to write and/or edit? The truth is I hate it. Stop asking me to do it.
*You cant wash your hair for long periods of time when you are trying to loc. Its a very unhappy situation for me.
*Apparently listening to that new Twista song followed by Fabolous's "Tit 4 Tat" and "Young and Sexy" gets my day going right.
*I like to chat on aim when I'm at work. It makes the day go quicker.
*Washing clothes sucks.
*I need book suggestions. Please no Vonneget (sp).
*I still didnt get my phone.
*My original joint is STILL broken.
*Its funny that my phone rings in the middle of the night. I dont answer during the day. I dont answer at night. Leave me alone.
*I really want to see Chicken Little.
*I'm sad because my best friend is having issues and I cant fix them. I hate to see loved ones hurting.
*DO NOT buy me journals for Christmas please.
*I worry about LeMaine more than he knows.
*I have been abusing the word 'awkward' lately.
*I think I am over a crush.
*When you start getting to know a person it can destroy a crush quickly. I'd rather keep the untainted view most of the time.
*Not to say people arent still chill...just not want you expect.
*I am having a hard time focusing on anything today.
*I have on a white tee that says "I do be an English Major" on the front.
*Prince's husband did the artwork on it.
*Billy just made me mad/sad and he doesnt know it.
*I dont want to talk on he phone now, unless JF calls. By the time he calls I'm sure I will be asleep.
*Burnside gets like 400 interviews a week. How does he pull it? Can people see how fresh he is from his resume? Does he send pics?!
*Hopefully my whole world will change in February.
*I'm real moody. I wonder if anyone else realizes it or if I generally just come off as mean.
*I have a hard time explaining my behaviors. My reasoning seems flawed because of it. I come off as dramatic. But really its just that my thoughts are moving too quickly to explain it all.
*I dont like people want to be mysterious. It just annoys me. It feels like a game. I dont like games. "Be real with what you say and put some feelin up in it..."
*I think I was mentioned in someone elses blog and given an alias. Why did I get a hoodrat alias? Why couldnt my alias be good...like Camille. Thats a nice name.
*Every Black person in America should be required to read Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye"
And I'm out.
*I'm real good for a nasty comment. Its so much easier for me to be a jerk than it is for me to fall back and leave stuff alone. Maybe thats why I cant help but to attack you (intentionally or otherwise) via my blog. Attacking you comes so naturally to me. Its like thinking. It just happens. So when I sit down at a computer and begin to type a post, my thoughts inevitably turn to you. Not just you of course. I think of Erin and Keva and Joshy and Erica and Billy and Bj and Coney and B. But you enter my thoughts too. Immediately following the thought of you is the piercing sting of regret. That feeling I have never before felt in my life and hope to never feel again. And all I can do to temporarily ease that tension is to attack you. And I do. Its so easy. Dont get me wrong, we are all flawed individuals. But you wear your issues on your sleeve. Maybe thats just how I see it now. I attack you because I love you. Because I always will. Because I cant control it. I attack because I know that I can never take back what I gave you. That makes me mad. At one point it made me sad, real sad. But now I'm just pissed off. I wish I could erase it all. (Well...maybe not all of it. I think of Schrom Hills with a speical fondness) If I could, believe me, I would. I would erase you from my memory and erase the memories of me from yours. It would be so much easier that way. It makes me a little sad to say that. I know you well enough to know that makes you a little sad too. Such is life I guess. Everything cant have a happy ending.
*Why do people think I like to write and/or edit? The truth is I hate it. Stop asking me to do it.
*You cant wash your hair for long periods of time when you are trying to loc. Its a very unhappy situation for me.
*Apparently listening to that new Twista song followed by Fabolous's "Tit 4 Tat" and "Young and Sexy" gets my day going right.
*I like to chat on aim when I'm at work. It makes the day go quicker.
*Washing clothes sucks.
*I need book suggestions. Please no Vonneget (sp).
*I still didnt get my phone.
*My original joint is STILL broken.
*Its funny that my phone rings in the middle of the night. I dont answer during the day. I dont answer at night. Leave me alone.
*I really want to see Chicken Little.
*I'm sad because my best friend is having issues and I cant fix them. I hate to see loved ones hurting.
*DO NOT buy me journals for Christmas please.
*I worry about LeMaine more than he knows.
*I have been abusing the word 'awkward' lately.
*I think I am over a crush.
*When you start getting to know a person it can destroy a crush quickly. I'd rather keep the untainted view most of the time.
*Not to say people arent still chill...just not want you expect.
*I am having a hard time focusing on anything today.
*I have on a white tee that says "I do be an English Major" on the front.
*Prince's husband did the artwork on it.
*Billy just made me mad/sad and he doesnt know it.
*I dont want to talk on he phone now, unless JF calls. By the time he calls I'm sure I will be asleep.
*Burnside gets like 400 interviews a week. How does he pull it? Can people see how fresh he is from his resume? Does he send pics?!
*Hopefully my whole world will change in February.
*I'm real moody. I wonder if anyone else realizes it or if I generally just come off as mean.
*I have a hard time explaining my behaviors. My reasoning seems flawed because of it. I come off as dramatic. But really its just that my thoughts are moving too quickly to explain it all.
*I dont like people want to be mysterious. It just annoys me. It feels like a game. I dont like games. "Be real with what you say and put some feelin up in it..."
*I think I was mentioned in someone elses blog and given an alias. Why did I get a hoodrat alias? Why couldnt my alias be good...like Camille. Thats a nice name.
*Every Black person in America should be required to read Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye"
And I'm out.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Its the Little Things/A Grambling Grad Speaks/Hampton Hugs
Its the Little Things
I roll over to the Cartoon Network blasting. Some anime about demon spirits skipping generations...who knows. I reach under my pillow for my cell to check the time. 5:38 am Saturday November 5. Why the hell am I up at 530?! Its not a work day. Damn this 'biological clock' nonsense. I close my eyes, roll over a few times, and try to force myself back into slumber. To no avail. I reach back under the pillow for my glasses. Yes, I leave them under my pillow if I remember to take them off at all. Sometimes I just sleep with them on. I put them on and flip the channels for a few minutes. Whats on at 6 am on a Saturday? Nothing. I decided to go downstairs for awhile. At least downstairs I have digital cable and On Demand (what a blessing). I open my door and decide to make a pit stop at my bathroom. I take off my bonnet and untie my scarf. Oh yea. No more wrap. (sad face for a second)...I shake my locs (happy face good times for a second)...and stare in the mirror. I run my right hand across my head. I reach the nape of my neck and run my fingers across something soft and bumpy. What the hell is on my neck? Oh my God. Its NAPS. THREE LITTLE NAPS HAVE MADE MY NECK THEIR HOME! Should I be embarrased? You cant see them. My hair covers it. But I know they exist. Its like a dirty secret. The little thing that will ruin my chance at the presidency. The thing that is going to keep me from winning the lottery. Its the damn little things.
A Grambling Grad Speaks
(Let me introduce this by saying I am not a racist. I did not make these comments. I am just quoting a coworker. If you are offended who cares?! Its life.)
I work with a group of eight. Just one man. A Grambling Grad. He told me after he saw my Hampton Alumni mug that doubles as a pen holder on my desk. "Oh...you went to Hampton? You must be stuck up. That explains why you are so quiet. I partied there once. The girls there are wild. Good times (he looks off in the distance...)" Anyways, after he found out I too went to an HBCU he took me under his wing. During training (the week after homecoming) I fell asleep at his desk. Yes, I know. HORRIBLE. His response: "I dont know what dude did to you this past weekend...but he is obviously not the right guy for you. You clearly cant hang. Stop fakin like you can. Now you at work falling asleep. Damn young people." He then told me to go outside and shake it off, which I immediately did. A few weeks later I was working on a task in one of the rooms with him. He starts talking about ways to deal with men. Mind you, I do not talk about my personal life in any way while I'm at work. Its not like hes heard me gripe about anything. For the most part, I dont talk at all. Yet and still, on the way to get fingerprinted he asked me about my boo. I immediately let him no that my 'boo' doesnt exist. His response: "What happened? He with a white girl now? You cant compete with a white girl. I can tell you arent wild enough. My man...he had a white girl. Looked her in her eyes and said 'hook up my man' and she did it. Head right there. It was great. You cant compete with that. You probably try to make 'a nigga' a 'man'. Nah. You cant do that shorty. Some guys arent men. Suck it up. Stop tripping off the due. Hes not for you. He probably aint about shit anyways. And here you are, working, trying to find your place in the world. He probably calls you in the middle of the night on some drunk bullshit like 'i love you.' Dont answer the phone anymore. Hes not on your level. Find a man on your level. You'll be happier." For those in "The Know"...how sick is that? I dont know that man and yet he told me my story. What a damn shame...well he is great. The funniest person at work. And I appreciate words of wisdom from ex-manwhores.
Hampton Hugs
I didnt mention this after homecoming, but I hate hugs now. Its so awkward to see people that you werent really friends with and then be forced into an embrace as though you care. Dont get me wrong...when I saw Joshy and he grabbed me up a tear or two did drop. That was a real hug. I really missed my friend. But hugging joe blow from english 102...why? If I dont know you name (and I'm really good with names) then why are you opening your arms to me. The worst part about the hug situation is that the one person I wanted a hug from...gave me a damn handshake. What kind of nonsense?! I didnt know how to respond...but I did converse after that. But a handshake. How awkward. Can someone please send me the hug rulebook so I dont make a jackass of myself next year?
I roll over to the Cartoon Network blasting. Some anime about demon spirits skipping generations...who knows. I reach under my pillow for my cell to check the time. 5:38 am Saturday November 5. Why the hell am I up at 530?! Its not a work day. Damn this 'biological clock' nonsense. I close my eyes, roll over a few times, and try to force myself back into slumber. To no avail. I reach back under the pillow for my glasses. Yes, I leave them under my pillow if I remember to take them off at all. Sometimes I just sleep with them on. I put them on and flip the channels for a few minutes. Whats on at 6 am on a Saturday? Nothing. I decided to go downstairs for awhile. At least downstairs I have digital cable and On Demand (what a blessing). I open my door and decide to make a pit stop at my bathroom. I take off my bonnet and untie my scarf. Oh yea. No more wrap. (sad face for a second)...I shake my locs (happy face good times for a second)...and stare in the mirror. I run my right hand across my head. I reach the nape of my neck and run my fingers across something soft and bumpy. What the hell is on my neck? Oh my God. Its NAPS. THREE LITTLE NAPS HAVE MADE MY NECK THEIR HOME! Should I be embarrased? You cant see them. My hair covers it. But I know they exist. Its like a dirty secret. The little thing that will ruin my chance at the presidency. The thing that is going to keep me from winning the lottery. Its the damn little things.
A Grambling Grad Speaks
(Let me introduce this by saying I am not a racist. I did not make these comments. I am just quoting a coworker. If you are offended who cares?! Its life.)
I work with a group of eight. Just one man. A Grambling Grad. He told me after he saw my Hampton Alumni mug that doubles as a pen holder on my desk. "Oh...you went to Hampton? You must be stuck up. That explains why you are so quiet. I partied there once. The girls there are wild. Good times (he looks off in the distance...)" Anyways, after he found out I too went to an HBCU he took me under his wing. During training (the week after homecoming) I fell asleep at his desk. Yes, I know. HORRIBLE. His response: "I dont know what dude did to you this past weekend...but he is obviously not the right guy for you. You clearly cant hang. Stop fakin like you can. Now you at work falling asleep. Damn young people." He then told me to go outside and shake it off, which I immediately did. A few weeks later I was working on a task in one of the rooms with him. He starts talking about ways to deal with men. Mind you, I do not talk about my personal life in any way while I'm at work. Its not like hes heard me gripe about anything. For the most part, I dont talk at all. Yet and still, on the way to get fingerprinted he asked me about my boo. I immediately let him no that my 'boo' doesnt exist. His response: "What happened? He with a white girl now? You cant compete with a white girl. I can tell you arent wild enough. My man...he had a white girl. Looked her in her eyes and said 'hook up my man' and she did it. Head right there. It was great. You cant compete with that. You probably try to make 'a nigga' a 'man'. Nah. You cant do that shorty. Some guys arent men. Suck it up. Stop tripping off the due. Hes not for you. He probably aint about shit anyways. And here you are, working, trying to find your place in the world. He probably calls you in the middle of the night on some drunk bullshit like 'i love you.' Dont answer the phone anymore. Hes not on your level. Find a man on your level. You'll be happier." For those in "The Know"...how sick is that? I dont know that man and yet he told me my story. What a damn shame...well he is great. The funniest person at work. And I appreciate words of wisdom from ex-manwhores.
Hampton Hugs
I didnt mention this after homecoming, but I hate hugs now. Its so awkward to see people that you werent really friends with and then be forced into an embrace as though you care. Dont get me wrong...when I saw Joshy and he grabbed me up a tear or two did drop. That was a real hug. I really missed my friend. But hugging joe blow from english 102...why? If I dont know you name (and I'm really good with names) then why are you opening your arms to me. The worst part about the hug situation is that the one person I wanted a hug from...gave me a damn handshake. What kind of nonsense?! I didnt know how to respond...but I did converse after that. But a handshake. How awkward. Can someone please send me the hug rulebook so I dont make a jackass of myself next year?
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Sunday Afternoon Randomness
Quick thoughts...this is not another fill-in-the-blank list...
1. I started my locs. I have a pic or two but I dont want to put them online because I'm not 100% use to the look yet. Dont get it twisted, I'm happy with it. Its just not what I'm accustomed to seeing. HOwever, I didnt cry like I did when I cut my hair before so it must be ok.
2. I finally got a free copy of Fiona Apple. That makes me real happy. I'm sure I'll buy it eventually, but free for now is good for me.
3. I have had a headache since Friday morning when I got to work. I still have it. I just may be stressed.
4. I didnt get my new phone yet. The cell I have now only works sometimes. So, if you call please leave a message because I wont know otherwise.
5. Apparently people think Keva is crazy because of the stuff she says on her blog. Stupid people, that is her release. She is still quite sane. Can people vent occasionally without being insane? GEEZ. Its not like she threatened anyone with a bat (oh wait...except that one time in Adams Morgan...lol). Keva's great.
6. Everytime I go to lunch with my aunt I end up late returning to work. We went to Montgomery mall the other day for lunch. The electricity was out in the freakin mall. Just my luck right. When I stood up to leave, the lights came back on. 10 minutes late returning to work. DAMMIT!
7. I made like 3 outgoing phone calls today. That is 300% more than I normally make. No one answered the damn phone. This is why I dont waste my time. Wont make that mistake again.
8. I think I fell in love with art this month. Right now I'm on Cbabi Bayoc and Maurice Evans real hard. If I get a print for christmas I might just cry. Bayoc prints arent that bad really. So I might suck it up and buy a gift for my damn self.
9. Erin is coming back to the states real soon. It will be good to see my friend again. It will be even better to be able to actually call her.
10. The A&E show 'Intervention' is real good. Like, make-you-cry good. I watched 4 on-demand at like 4 in the morning (yes Hill...bat-style).
11. I am ashamed of my word usage and grammatical 'issues' in this post.
12. I had a crush junior year on this english major. He paid me NO attention. I saw him at Homecoming. He laughed at me when I waved and gave me this big hug. Tim decided to tell him I had a crush. I'm sad now.
13. I miss being able to sit at home and watch CNN and MSNBC all day. I missed the Scooter Libby thing. DAMMIT. I love political drama and I keep missing the good stuff because I'm working. Its not fair.
14. I have been in a real bad mood since Monday. I do know why I'm in a bad mood, but I dont know how to shake it. So now I have been accidentally treating men like shit again. Oops. I'm sorry (seriously).
15. April told me this guy I kinda have a crush on is a "cornball." Now, April decided to call me instead of im me just to tell me how serious it is. I was laughing hard. I am so much nicer than everyone I know.
16. I went into 'bitter black woman' mode on a dude for a sec. That was bad. To that guy, I'm REAL sorry for that. You asked a question and that was/is a raw topic. I'm working on that for real. Right after I got off the phone I realized that I do that occasionally. My emotions are way too up and down. But really I am just overly dramatic. (Oh My. did I admit that for real?!). Truthfully, I dont really give a damn about very much. I am bitter about that...but nothing else. And even when I do have a real emotion I generally keep it inside.
17. My seemingly erratic behavior makes me seem a lot different than I really am. I say wreckless stuff sometimes just cause I can. Meanwhile, I come off as a psycho. Imma start being honest and calm. No one is going to talk to me anymore though. I will be too boring.
17. Keva responded to my sex post. Matters of the Flesh or Not My Goodies Part II
Thats it. I'm done.
1. I started my locs. I have a pic or two but I dont want to put them online because I'm not 100% use to the look yet. Dont get it twisted, I'm happy with it. Its just not what I'm accustomed to seeing. HOwever, I didnt cry like I did when I cut my hair before so it must be ok.
2. I finally got a free copy of Fiona Apple. That makes me real happy. I'm sure I'll buy it eventually, but free for now is good for me.
3. I have had a headache since Friday morning when I got to work. I still have it. I just may be stressed.
4. I didnt get my new phone yet. The cell I have now only works sometimes. So, if you call please leave a message because I wont know otherwise.
5. Apparently people think Keva is crazy because of the stuff she says on her blog. Stupid people, that is her release. She is still quite sane. Can people vent occasionally without being insane? GEEZ. Its not like she threatened anyone with a bat (oh wait...except that one time in Adams Morgan...lol). Keva's great.
6. Everytime I go to lunch with my aunt I end up late returning to work. We went to Montgomery mall the other day for lunch. The electricity was out in the freakin mall. Just my luck right. When I stood up to leave, the lights came back on. 10 minutes late returning to work. DAMMIT!
7. I made like 3 outgoing phone calls today. That is 300% more than I normally make. No one answered the damn phone. This is why I dont waste my time. Wont make that mistake again.
8. I think I fell in love with art this month. Right now I'm on Cbabi Bayoc and Maurice Evans real hard. If I get a print for christmas I might just cry. Bayoc prints arent that bad really. So I might suck it up and buy a gift for my damn self.
9. Erin is coming back to the states real soon. It will be good to see my friend again. It will be even better to be able to actually call her.
10. The A&E show 'Intervention' is real good. Like, make-you-cry good. I watched 4 on-demand at like 4 in the morning (yes Hill...bat-style).
11. I am ashamed of my word usage and grammatical 'issues' in this post.
12. I had a crush junior year on this english major. He paid me NO attention. I saw him at Homecoming. He laughed at me when I waved and gave me this big hug. Tim decided to tell him I had a crush. I'm sad now.
13. I miss being able to sit at home and watch CNN and MSNBC all day. I missed the Scooter Libby thing. DAMMIT. I love political drama and I keep missing the good stuff because I'm working. Its not fair.
14. I have been in a real bad mood since Monday. I do know why I'm in a bad mood, but I dont know how to shake it. So now I have been accidentally treating men like shit again. Oops. I'm sorry (seriously).
15. April told me this guy I kinda have a crush on is a "cornball." Now, April decided to call me instead of im me just to tell me how serious it is. I was laughing hard. I am so much nicer than everyone I know.
16. I went into 'bitter black woman' mode on a dude for a sec. That was bad. To that guy, I'm REAL sorry for that. You asked a question and that was/is a raw topic. I'm working on that for real. Right after I got off the phone I realized that I do that occasionally. My emotions are way too up and down. But really I am just overly dramatic. (Oh My. did I admit that for real?!). Truthfully, I dont really give a damn about very much. I am bitter about that...but nothing else. And even when I do have a real emotion I generally keep it inside.
17. My seemingly erratic behavior makes me seem a lot different than I really am. I say wreckless stuff sometimes just cause I can. Meanwhile, I come off as a psycho. Imma start being honest and calm. No one is going to talk to me anymore though. I will be too boring.
17. Keva responded to my sex post. Matters of the Flesh or Not My Goodies Part II
Thats it. I'm done.
Friday, October 28, 2005
'"Matters of Flesh" or "Not My Goodies"
So, as some of you know, I have been having 'issues' with the whole idea of sex for awhile. I have done my best to avoid the act and the topic of conversation but apparently it is unavoidable. Anyways, maybe if I discuss them openly I will be able to get over it or grow from it or something. Someone needs to break out and 'drop some knowledge' (gotta love those horrid cliches) because I need it.
Topic 1: "I Dont Have Sex Anymore"
In July I met Keva's 'Special' (i will refer to him as Special from here on out). Special and his best friend (who I will refer to as Photo) met Keva and I at a bar/grill. They are/were cool. Good conversation...blah blah blah. Somehow (like always) sex came up in conversation. I responded to the conversation with "I dont have sex anymore." I'm sure you have all heard me say this and I was serious when I said it. It was/is the truth. Photo just didnt like that. Apparently I 'mislead' people. Photo mustve thought I looked like a slut. Moving on...Special later lambasted me about saying "I dont have sex" to people. (As a sidenote, this particular conversation has made me cry twice. I feel so misunderstood.) He said it pushes people away. Is he right? Or do I become a target? Do guys feel like they should just call to see if they can get me to do something with them (yea...that was just for you)? Or does it just further isolate me from the heterosexual male population.
Topic 2: The Ownership
Are you entitled to something because you have sex with someone? I used to think you did. And then I met him and I found out I was DEAD wrong. But when did sex become so casual? Am I the only person who associates feelings/emotions with the act? Why would you want to share your body with so many people like its not a temple? A friend's mother said that sex was a natural step in the progression from friendship to relationship. Is this true? Are people supposed to have sex with their boo before 'wifin' a person...like a test run? And if so, how do you know when you make that next step? Doesnt it just further blur lines?
Topic 3: Piercings and Sex
Ah yes. The most annoying part of my life. "Oh she got a tongue ring. She must like to give head." I dont get it...well thats not the truth. I get it a little. And even had a few thoughts about a few men I know with tongue rings (although I was more disturbed than intrigued). But, girls without tongue rings give head all the time. Dudes with and without piercings and things do just as much as dudes without. Lets take this a step further. We all know I had a moment in time where I got real deep into the whole 'body modification' thing but who cares? It means nothing...at least with me. What I have attached to me has what to do with who sees it? And if you dont know beforehand and then find out, do you assume I'm a slut just becasue of my rings and things?
...
So while writing this blog I decided that its not me. I'm not wrong for avoiding any sexual act with dudes who are flat out the worst or with any dude at all. If I am not appreciated for all that I am then you can BEAT IT. And feel free to tell me that is why you are walking away. I can deal with it cause I'm all about honesty. I dont give a damn that you are going to medical school (yep...you) or that you are 'fresh'. Those things dont matter to me. I like clothes but you take them off and exactly what are you left with? I like smart men but not if you are all about beatin it up and thats it. Thats not intersting. You (the universal 'you' that is), as a grown ass man should desire more from a woman than ass. What about support and conversation? What about friendship and compatability? And what is this crap about sexin before you will even kiss a chick? That is SO disturbing. Now, I'm not saying every relationship is meant to be some long lasting fulfilling situation. But damn...help me out here...I dont get it...
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY STINKY!!!!!!!)
Topic 1: "I Dont Have Sex Anymore"
In July I met Keva's 'Special' (i will refer to him as Special from here on out). Special and his best friend (who I will refer to as Photo) met Keva and I at a bar/grill. They are/were cool. Good conversation...blah blah blah. Somehow (like always) sex came up in conversation. I responded to the conversation with "I dont have sex anymore." I'm sure you have all heard me say this and I was serious when I said it. It was/is the truth. Photo just didnt like that. Apparently I 'mislead' people. Photo mustve thought I looked like a slut. Moving on...Special later lambasted me about saying "I dont have sex" to people. (As a sidenote, this particular conversation has made me cry twice. I feel so misunderstood.) He said it pushes people away. Is he right? Or do I become a target? Do guys feel like they should just call to see if they can get me to do something with them (yea...that was just for you)? Or does it just further isolate me from the heterosexual male population.
Topic 2: The Ownership
Are you entitled to something because you have sex with someone? I used to think you did. And then I met him and I found out I was DEAD wrong. But when did sex become so casual? Am I the only person who associates feelings/emotions with the act? Why would you want to share your body with so many people like its not a temple? A friend's mother said that sex was a natural step in the progression from friendship to relationship. Is this true? Are people supposed to have sex with their boo before 'wifin' a person...like a test run? And if so, how do you know when you make that next step? Doesnt it just further blur lines?
Topic 3: Piercings and Sex
Ah yes. The most annoying part of my life. "Oh she got a tongue ring. She must like to give head." I dont get it...well thats not the truth. I get it a little. And even had a few thoughts about a few men I know with tongue rings (although I was more disturbed than intrigued). But, girls without tongue rings give head all the time. Dudes with and without piercings and things do just as much as dudes without. Lets take this a step further. We all know I had a moment in time where I got real deep into the whole 'body modification' thing but who cares? It means nothing...at least with me. What I have attached to me has what to do with who sees it? And if you dont know beforehand and then find out, do you assume I'm a slut just becasue of my rings and things?
...
So while writing this blog I decided that its not me. I'm not wrong for avoiding any sexual act with dudes who are flat out the worst or with any dude at all. If I am not appreciated for all that I am then you can BEAT IT. And feel free to tell me that is why you are walking away. I can deal with it cause I'm all about honesty. I dont give a damn that you are going to medical school (yep...you) or that you are 'fresh'. Those things dont matter to me. I like clothes but you take them off and exactly what are you left with? I like smart men but not if you are all about beatin it up and thats it. Thats not intersting. You (the universal 'you' that is), as a grown ass man should desire more from a woman than ass. What about support and conversation? What about friendship and compatability? And what is this crap about sexin before you will even kiss a chick? That is SO disturbing. Now, I'm not saying every relationship is meant to be some long lasting fulfilling situation. But damn...help me out here...I dont get it...
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY STINKY!!!!!!!)
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Yet Another List...
E. Hill, in her own special way, told me she wanted me to do this...so here goes...Feel free to steal this and do it on your blog too...
I am not: friendly.
I hurt: when i fail at something.
I love: reading.
I hate: potato salad.
I hope: i get "Black and Blue".
I hear: my phone ringing and choose not to answer.
I regret: not going after things I wanted at Hampton.
I cry: when no one is watching.
I care: about my Mommy.
I always: stop talking when i'm mad.
I long to: write.
I feel alone: always.
I listen: to Keva's advice...even when it makes me cry.
I hide: my hurt.
I sing: in the computer room.
I dance: almost never.
I write: everything i possibly can...haikus...
I breathe: quietly.
I play: online games incessantly. I'm mad they blocked them at work.
I miss: him...but not enough to wish him back...
I search: for fulfillment.
I say: mean things without meaning to.
I feel: alone 99.98% of the time.
I succeed: at being compassionate.
I fail: at being friendly.
I dream: in verse. I see words instead of pictures.
I sleep: on my stomach soundlessly.
I wonder: if i'll ever be completely happy.
I want: a man around who isnt going to press me out about things I dont want to do. A man interested in my mind. I need that.
I worry: about my Mommy and Keva.
I have: 3 tattoos and 3 piercings other than my ears.
I give: good advice.
I fight: with words.
I wait: for the calls.
I am: so sweet and shy. Too bad it doesnt come off that way...
I think: Joshy is the greatest and he'll be by my side forever.
I can't: deal with liars or misleaders or womanizers. Its unnecessary.
I stay: trying to fix other peoples problems without considering my hurt.
Imma blog again tomorrow cause I actually did a real joint but thought Erin would appreciate this more...
I am not: friendly.
I hurt: when i fail at something.
I love: reading.
I hate: potato salad.
I hope: i get "Black and Blue".
I hear: my phone ringing and choose not to answer.
I regret: not going after things I wanted at Hampton.
I cry: when no one is watching.
I care: about my Mommy.
I always: stop talking when i'm mad.
I long to: write.
I feel alone: always.
I listen: to Keva's advice...even when it makes me cry.
I hide: my hurt.
I sing: in the computer room.
I dance: almost never.
I write: everything i possibly can...haikus...
I breathe: quietly.
I play: online games incessantly. I'm mad they blocked them at work.
I miss: him...but not enough to wish him back...
I search: for fulfillment.
I say: mean things without meaning to.
I feel: alone 99.98% of the time.
I succeed: at being compassionate.
I fail: at being friendly.
I dream: in verse. I see words instead of pictures.
I sleep: on my stomach soundlessly.
I wonder: if i'll ever be completely happy.
I want: a man around who isnt going to press me out about things I dont want to do. A man interested in my mind. I need that.
I worry: about my Mommy and Keva.
I have: 3 tattoos and 3 piercings other than my ears.
I give: good advice.
I fight: with words.
I wait: for the calls.
I am: so sweet and shy. Too bad it doesnt come off that way...
I think: Joshy is the greatest and he'll be by my side forever.
I can't: deal with liars or misleaders or womanizers. Its unnecessary.
I stay: trying to fix other peoples problems without considering my hurt.
Imma blog again tomorrow cause I actually did a real joint but thought Erin would appreciate this more...
Thursday, October 20, 2005
About this 'Working' foolishness../Homecoming 2005
So everyone keeps asking about work and I keep responding "its a job what more do you want me to say?" or "i am tired of talking about it." The truth is, I really am tired of talking about it. No one asks me how I am or whats been going on anymore. Everyone is obsessed with this 'working' nonsense. So, I am going to talk about my job in this blog. It will probably never happen again so dont ask...
I work in Rockville at HHS. I dont actually work for the government, but I am contracted out to the dept. Its chill. I have a computer and a phone. What more do you need really? I have pics on my desk and an HU banner that I took from my mother. I have a sweater on the back of my chair and shoes in one of my drawers. You know...Black woman at work. I do a lot of things that I'm sure everyone will find extra boring so I'm not going into great detail about it. What I will say is that this job affirms my belief that I am smarter than most people wandering around the country. Being the youngest employee might be my only issue. The older folks dont seem to enjoy that I correct their errors. But hey, if they dont make mistakes then I dont have anything to fix. Too bad they CONSTANTLY make mistakes.
I'm tired when I get to work at 830 and tired when I leave at 5. I feel like I dont get enough sleep but cant force myself to go to bed early. Everyone keeps saying I'll get used to it. If I dont I might just die of exhaustion in the next couple days.
Homecoming
I enjoyed Homecoming this year. Definitely some memorable moments. Quick rundown of the weekend...
1. I am STILL not the wild girl that people think I am. I'm not a drinker. Not very social either. But I'm nice most days and I love my friends.
2. I realize that I only like wearing real high heels if I am actually going to be moving around. Standing in one place is a bust for shoes like that.
3. I realize that guys are just as jealous and controlling as women (as proved to me by my big brother who acted a damn fool when he saw me with Joshy - my 100% platonic friend - at the bazaar).
4. I have a shopping problem that is becoming uncontrollable. My friends should not feed into it.
5. Someone dear to me is leaving the area real soon and I am very sad. I mean, I'm happy that they are moving forward in life, but unresolved issues suck. I do not want to look back at this and be like 'what if'...
6. Trying to get into a party when there are a billion people at the door SUCKS. Imma have to say 'screw fashionably late' and be at the doors when they open and spare myself the drama.
7. A lot of people in a party does not equal a good party. If it is 1200 degrees its just not okay.
8. I love my tattoos when I'm dressed up and doing them justice.
9. This one guy who said some at least one not-nice thing about me ('tell your girl to get off my dick') just to make himself look tight is actually very stylish. He is real cocky...but well dressed just the same. If he werent a total asshole he might be attractive. But he is an ass...
10. Dudes think every girl is trying to get it beat up just because its homecoming. I'm not like that Homecoming or any other time. Dont text me dirty things and get mad when I shut your ass down.
11. I am WAY too concerned with privacy. Its not just a concern. It has become an obsession. I dont like anyone to know whats going on with me and anyone i'm 'dealing' with. I let that mess some stuff up while I was still at Hampton. But imma work on it for real. (I dont like being called 'overly dramatic').
12. I used to have a crush on this guy. Okay...Okay...I was in love with him. And though I'm not still in love with him, I still feel awkward when I see him. He always looks at me like hes thinking 'why is she always acting funny.' I hope I outgrow that foolishness. Its not cute.
13. Alex LeMaine sucks.
14. Joshy is the cutest ever. I'm so sad I dont get to see him more often.
15. I shouldnt hug guys who are taller than me. They smash my face into their chests thereby smashing my glasses into my face. Its not a good look.
16. I was real flustered at the bazaar because of Coney's behavior. Everythign after that moment made me look like I was a spazz.
17. Tongue rings dont suck.
18. Throwing eye glasses is not a smart idea.
19. I look younger than 22. I dont know why people think i'm 17 but apparently they do.
20. I love my HIU.
I work in Rockville at HHS. I dont actually work for the government, but I am contracted out to the dept. Its chill. I have a computer and a phone. What more do you need really? I have pics on my desk and an HU banner that I took from my mother. I have a sweater on the back of my chair and shoes in one of my drawers. You know...Black woman at work. I do a lot of things that I'm sure everyone will find extra boring so I'm not going into great detail about it. What I will say is that this job affirms my belief that I am smarter than most people wandering around the country. Being the youngest employee might be my only issue. The older folks dont seem to enjoy that I correct their errors. But hey, if they dont make mistakes then I dont have anything to fix. Too bad they CONSTANTLY make mistakes.
I'm tired when I get to work at 830 and tired when I leave at 5. I feel like I dont get enough sleep but cant force myself to go to bed early. Everyone keeps saying I'll get used to it. If I dont I might just die of exhaustion in the next couple days.
Homecoming
I enjoyed Homecoming this year. Definitely some memorable moments. Quick rundown of the weekend...
1. I am STILL not the wild girl that people think I am. I'm not a drinker. Not very social either. But I'm nice most days and I love my friends.
2. I realize that I only like wearing real high heels if I am actually going to be moving around. Standing in one place is a bust for shoes like that.
3. I realize that guys are just as jealous and controlling as women (as proved to me by my big brother who acted a damn fool when he saw me with Joshy - my 100% platonic friend - at the bazaar).
4. I have a shopping problem that is becoming uncontrollable. My friends should not feed into it.
5. Someone dear to me is leaving the area real soon and I am very sad. I mean, I'm happy that they are moving forward in life, but unresolved issues suck. I do not want to look back at this and be like 'what if'...
6. Trying to get into a party when there are a billion people at the door SUCKS. Imma have to say 'screw fashionably late' and be at the doors when they open and spare myself the drama.
7. A lot of people in a party does not equal a good party. If it is 1200 degrees its just not okay.
8. I love my tattoos when I'm dressed up and doing them justice.
9. This one guy who said some at least one not-nice thing about me ('tell your girl to get off my dick') just to make himself look tight is actually very stylish. He is real cocky...but well dressed just the same. If he werent a total asshole he might be attractive. But he is an ass...
10. Dudes think every girl is trying to get it beat up just because its homecoming. I'm not like that Homecoming or any other time. Dont text me dirty things and get mad when I shut your ass down.
11. I am WAY too concerned with privacy. Its not just a concern. It has become an obsession. I dont like anyone to know whats going on with me and anyone i'm 'dealing' with. I let that mess some stuff up while I was still at Hampton. But imma work on it for real. (I dont like being called 'overly dramatic').
12. I used to have a crush on this guy. Okay...Okay...I was in love with him. And though I'm not still in love with him, I still feel awkward when I see him. He always looks at me like hes thinking 'why is she always acting funny.' I hope I outgrow that foolishness. Its not cute.
13. Alex LeMaine sucks.
14. Joshy is the cutest ever. I'm so sad I dont get to see him more often.
15. I shouldnt hug guys who are taller than me. They smash my face into their chests thereby smashing my glasses into my face. Its not a good look.
16. I was real flustered at the bazaar because of Coney's behavior. Everythign after that moment made me look like I was a spazz.
17. Tongue rings dont suck.
18. Throwing eye glasses is not a smart idea.
19. I look younger than 22. I dont know why people think i'm 17 but apparently they do.
20. I love my HIU.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
My Letter to You (and there are lots of you)
Since I've been told I am inappreciative, this blog is to all of those I care about. No family members are going to be addressed. Further, I am not going to use names because I don't like folks in my biz. But thank you...
1. We have been through some times. Things that would make folks cry. Things that make me cry just thinking about it. But we are still together. This is so life long. I know I can rely on you through whatever. This past summer was not a good one for me and you were the only one there with a shoulder for me to cry on. I'm not even sure anyone else knew that I was hurting like you did. We have had our falling outs but we have grown so close. You are my best friend for life. One of these days you are going to shake those fears of yours and take over the world with me and 'special' by your side to support you like you support us.
2. My new buddy. Its funny that I knew you and never really had a conversation with you until after I was threw with Hampton. You are an extremely intelligent man. Despite your distaste for social situations, you and I are friends. I said it dammit. WE ARE FRIENDS. I'm glad to say that and I'm sure you're glad to read it (though you are probably saying something nasty to me on aim because of this). I like you almost as much as I like picking with you. You just cant move to Australia...I forbid it forever. There is no aim on deserted islands. Thanks for making me laugh at everything.
3. All summer I've tried to tell myself that I hate you. I've tried to coerce my heart into believing you actually are the scum of the earth. You aren't. You are extremely immature, self-involved, and reckless but I love you just the same. If I thought that was all there was to you this would be so much easier. But you have issues. Serious issues. Shit I cant even begin to understand even after all these years. And you keeping that mess in your head to yourself is making you more insane every minute. Maybe I pushed that insanity a little further. Just what the hell are you running from? Well, its whatever. I am supposed to try to gain from relationships that I build in life. You really taught me about unconditional love. You taught me about truly being a forgiving person. I want to thank you for that sincerely. Those changes have made me a better friend and better woman, though you will probably never see/reap the benefits. I am not going to apologize for the wrongs I've done to you. I don't ever expect you to apologize to those you've done to me. Apologies at this point would just be pointless. Irreparable damage has already been done. I wish you nothing but the best in your future. Its sad to say I'll probably never know one way or another...But things begin and things end...Life...
4. No one really knew that we were never apart. We have always been close and always will. Even your boys didn't know I was creeping (in a non-sexual way) in and out of your apartment while we were in school. Now that we are home again, things have become a lot more complicated. Yelling about whose flaws destroy 'situations' isn't helping at all. We will work it out I'm sure. We always do. We always will. You always be by my side...Even if no one else knows it...
5. The music man. I'm not sure you will even read this...But thanks for the music and dvds always. I know you probably get sick of me asking for stuff, but you come through for me so you are the GREATEST! Oh yea...And about that other stuff...
6. My newest and dearest friend from the south. In less than a year you have become more important to me than people I've known for a lifetime. I truly love and adore you so much. I knew you were special after that 'hip slapping/name signing' incident in the writing lab. So bold...How could I not appreciate that?! I was so devastated to have to leave you last year and will, I'm sure, feel those same pains when I leave homecoming. Just thinking about the day you left last spring makes me teary eyed. What makes it even more special to me is that you never once violated our friendship. You have been my true friend. And how could I not love the man who wrote me the poem...(I know you are real pressed that I said this about you...I am thinking about putting your name cause I know that would make it even better for you...I'll always be your Napoleon)...
7. My Davidson buddy. You held me down freshman year like none other and we have maintained since. You are so far away now and its so strange. I'm used to coming to your house and going to sleep (you know I'm good for sleeping). I miss those middle-the-night (my draft is due tomorrow so I cant sleep at all tonight) trips to Waffle House. So many memories. Those tattoos man...Oh and the piercings. Lol.
Okay man. I'm done. About my job when I get back on Sunday so bammas can stop asking about work. I'll see some of yall at Homecoming...Until the next time...
1. We have been through some times. Things that would make folks cry. Things that make me cry just thinking about it. But we are still together. This is so life long. I know I can rely on you through whatever. This past summer was not a good one for me and you were the only one there with a shoulder for me to cry on. I'm not even sure anyone else knew that I was hurting like you did. We have had our falling outs but we have grown so close. You are my best friend for life. One of these days you are going to shake those fears of yours and take over the world with me and 'special' by your side to support you like you support us.
2. My new buddy. Its funny that I knew you and never really had a conversation with you until after I was threw with Hampton. You are an extremely intelligent man. Despite your distaste for social situations, you and I are friends. I said it dammit. WE ARE FRIENDS. I'm glad to say that and I'm sure you're glad to read it (though you are probably saying something nasty to me on aim because of this). I like you almost as much as I like picking with you. You just cant move to Australia...I forbid it forever. There is no aim on deserted islands. Thanks for making me laugh at everything.
3. All summer I've tried to tell myself that I hate you. I've tried to coerce my heart into believing you actually are the scum of the earth. You aren't. You are extremely immature, self-involved, and reckless but I love you just the same. If I thought that was all there was to you this would be so much easier. But you have issues. Serious issues. Shit I cant even begin to understand even after all these years. And you keeping that mess in your head to yourself is making you more insane every minute. Maybe I pushed that insanity a little further. Just what the hell are you running from? Well, its whatever. I am supposed to try to gain from relationships that I build in life. You really taught me about unconditional love. You taught me about truly being a forgiving person. I want to thank you for that sincerely. Those changes have made me a better friend and better woman, though you will probably never see/reap the benefits. I am not going to apologize for the wrongs I've done to you. I don't ever expect you to apologize to those you've done to me. Apologies at this point would just be pointless. Irreparable damage has already been done. I wish you nothing but the best in your future. Its sad to say I'll probably never know one way or another...But things begin and things end...Life...
4. No one really knew that we were never apart. We have always been close and always will. Even your boys didn't know I was creeping (in a non-sexual way) in and out of your apartment while we were in school. Now that we are home again, things have become a lot more complicated. Yelling about whose flaws destroy 'situations' isn't helping at all. We will work it out I'm sure. We always do. We always will. You always be by my side...Even if no one else knows it...
5. The music man. I'm not sure you will even read this...But thanks for the music and dvds always. I know you probably get sick of me asking for stuff, but you come through for me so you are the GREATEST! Oh yea...And about that other stuff...
6. My newest and dearest friend from the south. In less than a year you have become more important to me than people I've known for a lifetime. I truly love and adore you so much. I knew you were special after that 'hip slapping/name signing' incident in the writing lab. So bold...How could I not appreciate that?! I was so devastated to have to leave you last year and will, I'm sure, feel those same pains when I leave homecoming. Just thinking about the day you left last spring makes me teary eyed. What makes it even more special to me is that you never once violated our friendship. You have been my true friend. And how could I not love the man who wrote me the poem...(I know you are real pressed that I said this about you...I am thinking about putting your name cause I know that would make it even better for you...I'll always be your Napoleon)...
7. My Davidson buddy. You held me down freshman year like none other and we have maintained since. You are so far away now and its so strange. I'm used to coming to your house and going to sleep (you know I'm good for sleeping). I miss those middle-the-night (my draft is due tomorrow so I cant sleep at all tonight) trips to Waffle House. So many memories. Those tattoos man...Oh and the piercings. Lol.
Okay man. I'm done. About my job when I get back on Sunday so bammas can stop asking about work. I'll see some of yall at Homecoming...Until the next time...
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Are You That Somebody?
I'm good for reading a book and writing down lines from them. Not for any specific reason, but some words, strategically placed together, seem more important than others. I'm good for rereading books and finding different sentences than the first time. So, I'm rereading The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara, one of my favorite books and I read this line:
"Be good to me, bitch, cause no one else has so you take the weight."
Backdrop: A man walks by a kitchen window and sees a woman. He proceeds to grap a mop, bust out the window, and rape the woman. That line is part of what he says to her while raping her.
No, I am not going to connect this to me at all or discuss the actual rape that takes place in the scene. However, with all the recent discussions of relationships going on (specifically KMM, JMM, ARL, ELH, BDC)this line stuck out to me. Do men think this? Do people generally allow their past experiences to completely control and change the outcome of their future experiences? Should I be punished for the way the previous woman treated you? Should men be punished for the way (as Musiq would say) "Previous Cats" behaved? And does this then make it difficult for people to desire new relationships? Do people run frantic from the thought of truly loving another as more than a friend? And how do you know when it really is time to pursue a relationship instead of just chillin?
See how I left that open for comments. What do you think?
"Be good to me, bitch, cause no one else has so you take the weight."
Backdrop: A man walks by a kitchen window and sees a woman. He proceeds to grap a mop, bust out the window, and rape the woman. That line is part of what he says to her while raping her.
No, I am not going to connect this to me at all or discuss the actual rape that takes place in the scene. However, with all the recent discussions of relationships going on (specifically KMM, JMM, ARL, ELH, BDC)this line stuck out to me. Do men think this? Do people generally allow their past experiences to completely control and change the outcome of their future experiences? Should I be punished for the way the previous woman treated you? Should men be punished for the way (as Musiq would say) "Previous Cats" behaved? And does this then make it difficult for people to desire new relationships? Do people run frantic from the thought of truly loving another as more than a friend? And how do you know when it really is time to pursue a relationship instead of just chillin?
See how I left that open for comments. What do you think?
Monday, October 10, 2005
Jenn's Rules
In mock response to Keva's last post, I've decided to list rules of my own. Dont get it twisted I have, again, stolen an idea. Further, because Keva is my bestest friend in the whole wide world she and I have had conversations about this topic on many occasions. Therefore, some things will overlap. Keva and I are both very strong individuals. Keva is strongest in ways that I am not and vice versa. So here are Jennifer's versions of the Relationship Rules.
*FYI...the use of the word 'relationship' is used to describe not only dating situations, but friendships and every other connection that one person can have to another...
1. Communication is the key. Dont talk about aspects of your relationship with others and not with the person it actually concerns. Talking to friends and swallowing your issues without talking it out with your 'special' just means it will blow up later.
2. Do not lie. I know its tempting to lie because you dont want any one person to know all your business but dont do it. Just dont say anything. Do not open your lips and allow foolishness to fall out. Lying just gives the person a valid reason to shut you down.
3. Dont pimp people who dont want to be pimped. If you are a man and you have LOTS of women be honest about it. If you are a woman and get mad dudes be honest about it. Why lie? Most of the time people dont give a damn if you are messing with other people as long as they know the deal.
4. Dont assume anything about anybody. Dont assume cause a girl dresses like a slut that she IS a slut. Dont associate piercings with sexual acts. Dont call a guy a 'pimp' just because you see him talking to girls. You never really know what goes on when the lights go out. I know lots of supposed 'good girls' who are sluts. I know lots of dudes who get NO play even though mad girls talk to them in public. Get to know a person before assuming anything.
5. Deal with people who are your equal. I am not talking about "I have a degree and he doesnt" or "My parents are rich and hers are poor." I am talking about intellectual equals. Dont wife a dumb chick and expect her to want to read a book you suggested. Dont date a 'deep' (yall know i hate that word) man and expect him to care about which purse you take. Be realistic.
6. Do not try to change a person. Take the person as they are. If they want to change, then its nothing wrong with helping someone move in the right direction. However, do not make it your purpose in life to turn a weed-head into an upstanding citizen. You cant make a ho a housewife (couldnt help but to say that). People are what they are. Appreciate them for that or move on.
7. Finally, make sure you show people that you care. I dont mean you have to say 'I love you' all day every day, but make sure they understand that they are important to you. Whether its a hug or a phonecall just to check up on someone, if they are special to you, make sure they know it.
And there it is...
And on a totally disconnected note, I got a REAL job now. Finally on that Grown Woman Grind.
*FYI...the use of the word 'relationship' is used to describe not only dating situations, but friendships and every other connection that one person can have to another...
1. Communication is the key. Dont talk about aspects of your relationship with others and not with the person it actually concerns. Talking to friends and swallowing your issues without talking it out with your 'special' just means it will blow up later.
2. Do not lie. I know its tempting to lie because you dont want any one person to know all your business but dont do it. Just dont say anything. Do not open your lips and allow foolishness to fall out. Lying just gives the person a valid reason to shut you down.
3. Dont pimp people who dont want to be pimped. If you are a man and you have LOTS of women be honest about it. If you are a woman and get mad dudes be honest about it. Why lie? Most of the time people dont give a damn if you are messing with other people as long as they know the deal.
4. Dont assume anything about anybody. Dont assume cause a girl dresses like a slut that she IS a slut. Dont associate piercings with sexual acts. Dont call a guy a 'pimp' just because you see him talking to girls. You never really know what goes on when the lights go out. I know lots of supposed 'good girls' who are sluts. I know lots of dudes who get NO play even though mad girls talk to them in public. Get to know a person before assuming anything.
5. Deal with people who are your equal. I am not talking about "I have a degree and he doesnt" or "My parents are rich and hers are poor." I am talking about intellectual equals. Dont wife a dumb chick and expect her to want to read a book you suggested. Dont date a 'deep' (yall know i hate that word) man and expect him to care about which purse you take. Be realistic.
6. Do not try to change a person. Take the person as they are. If they want to change, then its nothing wrong with helping someone move in the right direction. However, do not make it your purpose in life to turn a weed-head into an upstanding citizen. You cant make a ho a housewife (couldnt help but to say that). People are what they are. Appreciate them for that or move on.
7. Finally, make sure you show people that you care. I dont mean you have to say 'I love you' all day every day, but make sure they understand that they are important to you. Whether its a hug or a phonecall just to check up on someone, if they are special to you, make sure they know it.
And there it is...
And on a totally disconnected note, I got a REAL job now. Finally on that Grown Woman Grind.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Random Jennifer Thoughts
1. Why do people feel like they should call me Jenn? I dont like being called Jenn. I can accept CLOSE friends and family members calling me Jenn but randoms...no. If you dont know me like that please just call me Jennifer until otherwise notified.
2. I think people misinterpreted my question in my last blog about people coming to me with relationship questions. It doesnt bother me. I dont want my friends to think they shouldnt come to me. It just boggles my mind that people take my advice for real. It makes me happy though that my friends rely on me for sound advice. I appreciate that a lot. (I love E. Hill...shes the greatest...)
3. Speaking of tight friends...how did I end up with so many? I mean I'm not trying to boost any one persons ego but my friends are so tight. I have the chillest and most reliable friends ever. I have Hill holding me down in Ohio. Erica holding me down in VA. BJ holding me down in Cali. Coney in PA. Erin in Germany. And of course, the ace Keva right here in Lanham with me (soon to be bmore :(...). Thats not even the end of the list though. Those are just the front runners. As much as I complain about stuff, let it be known I thank God that I have friends like I do cause i just dont know what I would do without yall.
4. (yet another shout out) Some people make me laugh til my face hurts. Ok...this one particular person makes me laugh til my face hurts. Considering my attitude this summer, thats a HUGE thing. I dont want anyone to think I'm disillusioned or enamored. I'm not. Yall know me better than that. But I do appreciate little things like people who make you laugh at everything. Its good to have people around like that. It makes you smile through tough times (even if the person doesnt realize they are doing that). So heres to you Dream Boo...
5. Speaking of Dream Boo...why the hell are people so damn nosey? I mean. Clearly that person knows who he is. The reason everyone doesnt know is because ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS! I have friends. Just because I use the word 'boo' doesnt mean I am 'with' someone. I call Coney "My Love". I call Joshy "Darling". They are all just friends. Fall back and mind your business. If I didnt call you "dream boo" you arent it. Stop tripping.
6. Fantasia Barrino cant read. Isnt that flat out ridiculous?! Education is so free until you are 18 (or 21 if you dont finish when you are supposed to). The Literacy Council has groups all over the 50 states as well as international orgs that help them. You can learn how to read for free. The only thing holding people back is themselves. You can make a baby but you cant even fill out the damn birth certificate! How dare you publicize it like its okay to be unable to read! And now, she will make a few more bucks because of this. Who reads to her daughter at night? Isnt it a rule that parents read to children at night before they go to sleep?! Damn people. Get your lives together!
7. Homecoming 2005. My very first homecoming as an Alumna. People keep asking...YES I will be in Hampton that weekend. Hopefully I do all that I want and be the wild Jennifer I never am but am assumed to be. Maybe I wont babysit drinks. I miss my friends. Its going to be a great weekend.
8. Lastly, in response to a comment from my previous post, Rayful Edmond was a drug dealer in the 80s. He was real big time here in the Washington Dc area. There is not a DVD out on him (not including him because he is in protective custody cause he snitched on some folks and they had to hide him) and his rise and fall. I hate to call him a Metro area celebrity, but thats what he is. I dont know if they sell the movie in other places because I know of them selling it in All Daz (something else you are unfamiliar with if you are from here) but if you see it at Blockbuster pick it up. It was great!
Thats all for me...
2. I think people misinterpreted my question in my last blog about people coming to me with relationship questions. It doesnt bother me. I dont want my friends to think they shouldnt come to me. It just boggles my mind that people take my advice for real. It makes me happy though that my friends rely on me for sound advice. I appreciate that a lot. (I love E. Hill...shes the greatest...)
3. Speaking of tight friends...how did I end up with so many? I mean I'm not trying to boost any one persons ego but my friends are so tight. I have the chillest and most reliable friends ever. I have Hill holding me down in Ohio. Erica holding me down in VA. BJ holding me down in Cali. Coney in PA. Erin in Germany. And of course, the ace Keva right here in Lanham with me (soon to be bmore :(...). Thats not even the end of the list though. Those are just the front runners. As much as I complain about stuff, let it be known I thank God that I have friends like I do cause i just dont know what I would do without yall.
4. (yet another shout out) Some people make me laugh til my face hurts. Ok...this one particular person makes me laugh til my face hurts. Considering my attitude this summer, thats a HUGE thing. I dont want anyone to think I'm disillusioned or enamored. I'm not. Yall know me better than that. But I do appreciate little things like people who make you laugh at everything. Its good to have people around like that. It makes you smile through tough times (even if the person doesnt realize they are doing that). So heres to you Dream Boo...
5. Speaking of Dream Boo...why the hell are people so damn nosey? I mean. Clearly that person knows who he is. The reason everyone doesnt know is because ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS! I have friends. Just because I use the word 'boo' doesnt mean I am 'with' someone. I call Coney "My Love". I call Joshy "Darling". They are all just friends. Fall back and mind your business. If I didnt call you "dream boo" you arent it. Stop tripping.
6. Fantasia Barrino cant read. Isnt that flat out ridiculous?! Education is so free until you are 18 (or 21 if you dont finish when you are supposed to). The Literacy Council has groups all over the 50 states as well as international orgs that help them. You can learn how to read for free. The only thing holding people back is themselves. You can make a baby but you cant even fill out the damn birth certificate! How dare you publicize it like its okay to be unable to read! And now, she will make a few more bucks because of this. Who reads to her daughter at night? Isnt it a rule that parents read to children at night before they go to sleep?! Damn people. Get your lives together!
7. Homecoming 2005. My very first homecoming as an Alumna. People keep asking...YES I will be in Hampton that weekend. Hopefully I do all that I want and be the wild Jennifer I never am but am assumed to be. Maybe I wont babysit drinks. I miss my friends. Its going to be a great weekend.
8. Lastly, in response to a comment from my previous post, Rayful Edmond was a drug dealer in the 80s. He was real big time here in the Washington Dc area. There is not a DVD out on him (not including him because he is in protective custody cause he snitched on some folks and they had to hide him) and his rise and fall. I hate to call him a Metro area celebrity, but thats what he is. I dont know if they sell the movie in other places because I know of them selling it in All Daz (something else you are unfamiliar with if you are from here) but if you see it at Blockbuster pick it up. It was great!
Thats all for me...
Monday, September 26, 2005
20 Questions
Unlike Vibe's 20 Questions (or the Scripts), my 20 questions (minus 3)will be all about me. I FULLY expect audience participation in the form of comments. Even those of you who read and never comment...do it...
1. Was that really my last tattoo?
2. Am I really a wild girl because of the piercings and tattoos or am I a fake?
3. Why do people think I am mean?
4. Does my smart mouth really intimidate people THAT much?
5. Why am I always up and moving about at the strangest hours?
6. Why am I considered light skinned when I am clearly light brown?
7. How come people always think my away messages are directed at a particular person rather than just appreciating the tight quotes?
8. Is 'fakin' really only used by people from the DC metro area?
9. Why cant people recognize my wrist in my facebook pic? What other body part looks like that?
10. And back to the subject of tattoos, why is everyone acting like I have 12? When I'm clothed you cant see any of my 3 so is it really THAT bad?
11. Am I the only educated Black person who enjoyed the Rayful Edmond movie?
12. Do people even know who Rayful Edmond is?
13. Why do people come to me with relationship dilemmas when I am not in a relationship?
14. How come I can sit on the phone with some people for more than an hour but absolutely refuse to answer 97% of the times my phone rings?
15. Why do people either think I'm extra loud or extra quiet?
16. Why cant I fall asleep in the middle of the day?
17. Why cant I think of three more questions?
1. Was that really my last tattoo?
2. Am I really a wild girl because of the piercings and tattoos or am I a fake?
3. Why do people think I am mean?
4. Does my smart mouth really intimidate people THAT much?
5. Why am I always up and moving about at the strangest hours?
6. Why am I considered light skinned when I am clearly light brown?
7. How come people always think my away messages are directed at a particular person rather than just appreciating the tight quotes?
8. Is 'fakin' really only used by people from the DC metro area?
9. Why cant people recognize my wrist in my facebook pic? What other body part looks like that?
10. And back to the subject of tattoos, why is everyone acting like I have 12? When I'm clothed you cant see any of my 3 so is it really THAT bad?
11. Am I the only educated Black person who enjoyed the Rayful Edmond movie?
12. Do people even know who Rayful Edmond is?
13. Why do people come to me with relationship dilemmas when I am not in a relationship?
14. How come I can sit on the phone with some people for more than an hour but absolutely refuse to answer 97% of the times my phone rings?
15. Why do people either think I'm extra loud or extra quiet?
16. Why cant I fall asleep in the middle of the day?
17. Why cant I think of three more questions?
Little Brother and the Korean Barbecue...Too...
On Saturday Keva and I went to see Little Brother at some random spot called Ottobar in Baltimore. Yes, I was in Baltimore. Keva beat me to the post so I must recognize the original Little Brother and the Korean Barbecue before commenting myself. Here goes...
The concert was tight. For those unfamiliar with the lyrical stylings of Little Brother you are truly missing out on greatness. Someone suggested the group to me before and I immediately dismissed them. But I now regret that. They are funny and intelligent without turning into one of those "conscious" rap groups that no one wants to listen to (except me of course cause thats what i like). I saw them open for Kanye West at the NorVa when College Dropout first dropped. The group has a great onstage presence and they are just on point. Anyways, they did, what seemed to be, every song they have recorded plus a bunch of freestyles (that looks like a comma splice doesnt it?). They danced and enjoyed themselves as much as the audience enjoyed their show.
The crowd was an interesting bunch. Rhythmless white boys to dredlocked old men to Jenn and Keva. This place was intimate without being cliche. There might have been maybe 10 girls in the whole audience, but it was still chill. No one groping women. And with the exception of the huge man who kept poking me, I left happy. Some people were drinking but I just didnt feel like babysitting a drink(since I am definitely a babysitting pro) that particular night so I was extra sober.
After the concert Keva decided she was real hungry. We, along with RH, ended up at a Korean Barbecue. I know what you are thinking..."jennifer only eats like 8 different things...what the hell was she doing at a korean spot." Long story short...this is what happens when you trust people with food decisions that shouldnt be trusted. Try and "culture" black folks...Moving on. I had to use chopsticks (catastrophe) and look at korean men with REALLY nasty feet. I ended up pretty much eating white rice and telling myself that I need to avoid asians foods. But the conversation made it all worthwhile.
I poured my heart out about my present issue (which I will no divulge to you people) for a few emotionaless seconds and was blasted from the moment I began speaking. Weaker beings might have cried, but RH was right and so I had to suck it up and besides, who is crying in public??? Not Miss Jennifer. Its a bit strange considering I dont really know that person at all. But he understood my issue (singular) and broke it down and thats that. Meanwhile, I spent the night setting MissKeva up for glory. She whined about me talking too much or some such nonsense, but I talked just enough to put her in a wonderful place. You know why? Cause I'm great dammit. Even in my depressed state I want my friends to be sublimely happy.
So while on the way out of Baltimore my phone rings. It was maybe 4 in the morning. Now, I will leave the caller nameless because I know that person is probably going to read this and should feel bad enough without me name-dropping and letting everyone know how inconsiderate they are. I do not like people to call me after maybe 12 unless they are on SERIOUS boo status. And since no one has that status now, late night calls are unacceptable. Yes, I was awake. However, there are not many topics to talk about after 2. You might be calling about sex (and if you are calling me you are DAMN sure wasting time), you could be calling because you are drunk (and I dont enjoy drunk people), or you could be calling because there is some sort of emergency (which is the ONLY acceptable excuse). Blah blah blah. I did answer. I shouldnt have. I knew that as I flipped open the phone. It was real bad, but hey, I didnt cry so whatever. Live and learn right. DONT CALL ME THAT DAMN LATE EVER AGAIN IN LIFE. This experience, which ended in me getting hung up on for no reason at all, further proves my extremely forgiving nature exists despite my smart mouth. Possibly TOO forgiving nature. I curse and get mad and all that but in the end I hold people down who dont always deserve it.
Oh...I'll end on a happy note. I GET TO SEE BILAL AGAIN!!!!! He will be in Baltimore and I will be there too. Happy.
(strange way to end right? but i started talking about stuff that i wont blog on so i had to just move on...)
The concert was tight. For those unfamiliar with the lyrical stylings of Little Brother you are truly missing out on greatness. Someone suggested the group to me before and I immediately dismissed them. But I now regret that. They are funny and intelligent without turning into one of those "conscious" rap groups that no one wants to listen to (except me of course cause thats what i like). I saw them open for Kanye West at the NorVa when College Dropout first dropped. The group has a great onstage presence and they are just on point. Anyways, they did, what seemed to be, every song they have recorded plus a bunch of freestyles (that looks like a comma splice doesnt it?). They danced and enjoyed themselves as much as the audience enjoyed their show.
The crowd was an interesting bunch. Rhythmless white boys to dredlocked old men to Jenn and Keva. This place was intimate without being cliche. There might have been maybe 10 girls in the whole audience, but it was still chill. No one groping women. And with the exception of the huge man who kept poking me, I left happy. Some people were drinking but I just didnt feel like babysitting a drink(since I am definitely a babysitting pro) that particular night so I was extra sober.
After the concert Keva decided she was real hungry. We, along with RH, ended up at a Korean Barbecue. I know what you are thinking..."jennifer only eats like 8 different things...what the hell was she doing at a korean spot." Long story short...this is what happens when you trust people with food decisions that shouldnt be trusted. Try and "culture" black folks...Moving on. I had to use chopsticks (catastrophe) and look at korean men with REALLY nasty feet. I ended up pretty much eating white rice and telling myself that I need to avoid asians foods. But the conversation made it all worthwhile.
I poured my heart out about my present issue (which I will no divulge to you people) for a few emotionaless seconds and was blasted from the moment I began speaking. Weaker beings might have cried, but RH was right and so I had to suck it up and besides, who is crying in public??? Not Miss Jennifer. Its a bit strange considering I dont really know that person at all. But he understood my issue (singular) and broke it down and thats that. Meanwhile, I spent the night setting MissKeva up for glory. She whined about me talking too much or some such nonsense, but I talked just enough to put her in a wonderful place. You know why? Cause I'm great dammit. Even in my depressed state I want my friends to be sublimely happy.
So while on the way out of Baltimore my phone rings. It was maybe 4 in the morning. Now, I will leave the caller nameless because I know that person is probably going to read this and should feel bad enough without me name-dropping and letting everyone know how inconsiderate they are. I do not like people to call me after maybe 12 unless they are on SERIOUS boo status. And since no one has that status now, late night calls are unacceptable. Yes, I was awake. However, there are not many topics to talk about after 2. You might be calling about sex (and if you are calling me you are DAMN sure wasting time), you could be calling because you are drunk (and I dont enjoy drunk people), or you could be calling because there is some sort of emergency (which is the ONLY acceptable excuse). Blah blah blah. I did answer. I shouldnt have. I knew that as I flipped open the phone. It was real bad, but hey, I didnt cry so whatever. Live and learn right. DONT CALL ME THAT DAMN LATE EVER AGAIN IN LIFE. This experience, which ended in me getting hung up on for no reason at all, further proves my extremely forgiving nature exists despite my smart mouth. Possibly TOO forgiving nature. I curse and get mad and all that but in the end I hold people down who dont always deserve it.
Oh...I'll end on a happy note. I GET TO SEE BILAL AGAIN!!!!! He will be in Baltimore and I will be there too. Happy.
(strange way to end right? but i started talking about stuff that i wont blog on so i had to just move on...)
Saturday, September 24, 2005
The Never Ending Car Alarm
I was having such a good night last night. My mother brought me shrimp for dinner (which I love). Then my dream-boo (ha...if you are reading this you should feel OH SO special that I gave you an intentional shout-out like that) called and talked to me for a minute. Now, I did have 2 run-ins with crickets...but I'm strong and I survived. Further, Crooklyn came on and I LOVE that movie. So I'm thinking "this is a pretty chill night." I start watching Futurama and doze off on the couch. Mind you, my mother has opened all the windows in the house because she wanted fresh air. So I'm sleep. I was having a nightmare (which is rare) about crickets and dustbusters (no I'm not detailing the nonsense) and then all of a sudden I hear this EXTREMELY loud alarm in the dream. It woke me up. I realized the alarm was very real. I immediately got up to look out the window to make sure it wasn't my mothers car (which she, by the way, just got out the shop Friday). It wasn't. Now, my mother's alarm stops after a few minutes so I assumed this alarm would do the same. I was very wrong. So I wake up again at about 330 because of the alarm. I cover my ears and go back to sleep just to wake up AGAIN at like 445 just in time to catch another riveting epidsode of Roseanne. Mind you, there is no way to escape the alarm. The places I could have escaped to are all on the front of the house, so I would've heard the alarm. My mother snores so I couldn't go lay on her floor and I flat out was NOT going to sleep on the kitchen floor after I had, just hours earlier, murdered a cricket in there. So what was I to do? The damn alarm was driving me crazy and I was sleepy and beginning to get impatient. I closed the windows. It worked. GREAT. But then I wake up again at 530 because now its hot as VC in August in my house. Dammit. Can I catch a break?! I fall asleep finally. I wake up at 845 to get ready for my cousins football game and rant on my blog. As I type at 9:19 the alarm is STILL going off. My mother said the battery is gonna die if someone doesn't stop that alarm. Well, I hope the joint dies real soon cause I want that damn alarm to shut up!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
I am absolutely horrible at describing things. But I am going to do my best. If you make fun of me I wont be your friend anymore. That's final. I have good taste. We all know that, so you can trust that the stuff is tight. We will see how many times I use the same words over and over again. I do that over and over again (get it?) Anyways. A glimpse into my world...
Books
Jazz by Toni Morrison
This, in my humble opinion, is the best book ever written. Though I am a huge Morrison fan I picked this particular novel because its always new. No matter how many times I come back to the pages I find something new. Her words are beautiful. Her characters are real. What is there not to love?
White Boy Shuffle by Paul Beatty
White Boy shuffle may be the funniest novel I've ever read. Beatty pokes fun at every African American tragedy in history. From the ballet dancing slave to the suicidal leader of the free world, you will enjoy EVERY page. Plus...Its not long and the writer doesn't use words that are hard to understand. This would be a good book for a journalism major (yea...I came right at yalls necks...Ha)
The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Alex Haley
My inner Angry Black Woman would not let me do a list without mentioning this book. I mean...Its Malcolm X. What more do I need to say?
The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara
I read this book in my first Women's Lit class. I fell in love with Bambara. She's deep like Morrison without making you feel like you have to read the book 12 times to understand. My favorite character is a black man that looks white. He flips out in the grocery store because hes tired of shiftless Negroes. I felt a real connection with him because I feel like that too. Its a good read.
Bailey's Cafe by Gloria Naylor
Naylor, most famous for The Women of Brewster Place, penned this novel about a diner and all its customers. Its like a good friend telling you about their really dramatic day. The cross-dressing straight man makes you want to laugh but you might just cry. The differences between men and women separate so much...but bring us so close together. Appreciation is the key...
Movies
Eve's Bayou
Samuel L. Jackson, Lynn Whitfield, Journee? Smollet, and Megan Goode. This joint is so old but so wonderful. Coming of age story or something. Its about family or the destruction there of. Southern African Americans with money and problems. I love it.
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Awkward murder mystery with Kevin Spacey and John Cusack. Its set in Georgia in this really strange town with strange people that walk dogs that don't exist.
Crooklyn
People always act like this is one of S. Lee's worst but I love it. I enjoy movies that show the strength of the Black family I guess. Plus I sweat the 50s, 60s, and 70s REAL HARD.
Beloved
This movie is not for the weak at heart. Yea. Its Oprah. But try to look beyond that. No, its not as good as the book. But if you forget that the book exists, its a really great movie. Slavery and its after effects. The breakdown of the family. Its deep(i hate that word).
Kill Bill Vol.1 & 2
Gratuitous violence but with women. Tarantino could NOT go wrong. Plus it said "fuck you" on the bottom of the bride's Asics. Who thinks of stuff like that? Only the sickest...Greatness!
New Albums
Little Brother - The Minstrel Show
I got put on to Little Brother from Billy, the realest Hip Hop head ever. Anyways, I blew it off for awhile, but the album is tight. I can listen to it straight through. Further, they have a central theme and actually make it work all the way through the 17 tracks. Its funny and real. Thumbs up from Jenn.
Kanye West - Late Registration
So, I like Late Registration a lot. No, I'm not on Kanye's dick but you must give props when props are due. He pulled a lot of random rappers together and made some real hot songs. A year from today I'm sure I wont still be playing this all the way through, but it is going to last through the fall. I'll be late for that.
Rihanna - Music of the Sun
Who knew that I would actually listen to and like this cd? I mean, Pon De Replay is real tight for the club but is it great for just chillin. No. But the rest of the album is. Its sad Rihanna doesnt get the shine she deserves cause the girl is talented.
Common - Be
Its Common. In my eyes he can do no wrong. I dont care if people thought he had lost his mind after Electric Circus. He was and will always be the man. I love him always.
Eric Roberson - The Vault Volume 1.5
I dont know how new this album is. But Eric Roberson deserves nothing BUT shine. He is smooth without sounding weak. He is loving without sounding whiny. He is just a good singer. His other album is hot too. But The Vault is the best. I dont know if they sell it anywhere but Karibu though (for you non-PG or DC people its a Black Book store).
Classic Albums
Bilal - 1st Born Second
Bilal Oliver is, without a doubt, my favorite singer ever of all time. His album, which came out in the summer of 2001, still gets regular plays by me and probably always will. Hes just tight. He came to HU one year for homecoming and I thought I would die. Bilal's performances are even better than the cd. But its worth the $17 for sure.
Donny Hathaway - A Donny Hathaway Collection
I dont know if gets any better than Donny Hathaway's "To Be Young, Gifted, and Black". That should be some HBCUs alma mater I swear. His lyrics are poignant. His voice is beautiful. And you get the added bonus of repeat duets with Roberta Flack. Old school beauty and talent man.
Fiona Apple - Tidal, When the Pawn
The most soulful white girl on planet Earth. She is so angry (like me) but really just so sad (like me). The difference, she can sing a song and let ALL that out. Kanye used her producer (yes she had him back in the 90s). She has such an edge, but you can see through to the weaknesses. Its hard to explain I guess. If you understand her music you might just understand me.
Mos Def and Talib Kweli - Blackstar
I had to put a hip hop cd. I thought hard about it and this is, in my opinion, my favorite. I thought about putting Black on Both Sides, but I couldnt shaft Talib. I used to hate him but have grown to appreciate him in the last 3 years. Anyways, yes I do own some Jay Z but I would much rather listen to music about something other than cars and bitches. Blackstar...classic..
Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
I used to hate jazz. Then I mellowed out and learned to appreciate it. Miles Davis is not my favorite musician. Coltrane is in my heart. However, you can sleep on Kind of Blue. If you arent into jazz and you want to have a starter album this is the one to get. Music without words forces you to pay more attention. The slight changes in tone...feeling moods without speech. Perfection on disc.
Songs
Play - David Banner
The dirty version of this song is so nasty it makes me a little ashamed that I love it so much. I mean wow. The beat though...sick. And the dirty lyrics are great. Hot joint.
Ex Factor - Lauryn Hill
This song is so beautiful. And so real to life. It used to make me real sad. But I'm stronger now. Anyways, at least I know heart break is not just happening to me. And Lauryn Hill can sing. I mean for real sing. Not just carry a tune. She needs to drop another album NOW.
Ms. Fat Booty - Mos Def
This was the very first hip hop song I ever heard that was not about money. I know thats sad right. Well, at least its the first one I remember. I have loved Mos Def since. The song is about him falling for a girl and she playing him. Not my M.O. but I feel where he is coming from.
Stir It Up - Bob Marley
Sultry sounds of Mr. Marley. He needs no description. If you dont like Marley you are flat out a lame.
Mary Jane - BYB
I just couldnt do a list without at least one gogo reference. No this is not their song, but their version is so tight. So chill (like me). So great. How could people not love gogo???
Poets
In October 2004 I went to the Furious Flower Poetry Conference at JMU. It changed my world for real. I've always like poetry and literature, but this really renewed my appreciation for the art form. I encountered all of these poets while there. I was in awe before I saw them and brought nearly to tears after. I am so dramatic sometimes, but it was serious. I always feel like I am alone in my appreciation for the written word. It made me happy to feel like I (here comes the cliche moment) "belonged." So, if you have some time pick up a book or search these poets online. There stuff is beyond Explanation so I wont try. They are all great and deserve recognition.
Sonia Sanchez
I secretly write haikus. This dude did a poem at a Saracen open mic about how only bad poets did haikus (yes he was a hater and SWEARS he is talented and is not PLUS he has a speech impediment). Sanchez does the sickest haikus ever. In 17 syllables she will make your soul ache. Send shivers down your spine. That takes such control and yet such creativity. You cant tell me shes not the greatest.
(when we say good-bye
i want yo tongue inside my
mouth dancing hello)
E. Ethelbert Miller
Miller has this particular set of poems told from the perspective of a little boy. The fact that he can so eloquently speak from the mind of a child and yet be so profound is amazing. I dont use the P word often, but I will with Miller. He also has a lot of sexual stuff, which I dont normally enjoy. But its so sexual without being raunchy. Hes great.
(I wanted to love you
without lust
but I am not the saint
I claimed to be
forgive me for taking
too much
maybe tomorrow
things will be different
it is unfortunate
that the sun does not
travel backwards)
Nikki Giovanni
Giovanni is flat out undeniably gangsta. She will say anything. She will do anything. She does not give a damn. I adore her for that. Giovanni says whats on her mind and does not concern herself with what will follow. Her poems and so tough. She just knows she is one of the Greats. She is right.
(I am so hip even my errors are correct...)
Lucille Clifton
Clifton's poetry makes me cry. She has a poem about abortions and I cried. I've never had an abortion, but her words to describe the loss were just so poignant that I could not hold the tears back. When I met her I almost cried. I was so flushed because Dr. Prince made me go speak. She is the epitome of strong Black woman. You feel it in every poem every verse every line every word. She is the definitive poet.
Haki Madhubuti (Don L. Lee)
When I think of Madhubuti (who changed his name from Don L. Lee) and his work I just see a black fist in the air. This man is great. The best thing about him is that he wants nothing more than to pass on the art form. He wants the next geneartion to know as much as he does. That, to me, is impressive.
So...thats it. My favorite things.
Books
Jazz by Toni Morrison
This, in my humble opinion, is the best book ever written. Though I am a huge Morrison fan I picked this particular novel because its always new. No matter how many times I come back to the pages I find something new. Her words are beautiful. Her characters are real. What is there not to love?
White Boy Shuffle by Paul Beatty
White Boy shuffle may be the funniest novel I've ever read. Beatty pokes fun at every African American tragedy in history. From the ballet dancing slave to the suicidal leader of the free world, you will enjoy EVERY page. Plus...Its not long and the writer doesn't use words that are hard to understand. This would be a good book for a journalism major (yea...I came right at yalls necks...Ha)
The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Alex Haley
My inner Angry Black Woman would not let me do a list without mentioning this book. I mean...Its Malcolm X. What more do I need to say?
The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara
I read this book in my first Women's Lit class. I fell in love with Bambara. She's deep like Morrison without making you feel like you have to read the book 12 times to understand. My favorite character is a black man that looks white. He flips out in the grocery store because hes tired of shiftless Negroes. I felt a real connection with him because I feel like that too. Its a good read.
Bailey's Cafe by Gloria Naylor
Naylor, most famous for The Women of Brewster Place, penned this novel about a diner and all its customers. Its like a good friend telling you about their really dramatic day. The cross-dressing straight man makes you want to laugh but you might just cry. The differences between men and women separate so much...but bring us so close together. Appreciation is the key...
Movies
Eve's Bayou
Samuel L. Jackson, Lynn Whitfield, Journee? Smollet, and Megan Goode. This joint is so old but so wonderful. Coming of age story or something. Its about family or the destruction there of. Southern African Americans with money and problems. I love it.
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Awkward murder mystery with Kevin Spacey and John Cusack. Its set in Georgia in this really strange town with strange people that walk dogs that don't exist.
Crooklyn
People always act like this is one of S. Lee's worst but I love it. I enjoy movies that show the strength of the Black family I guess. Plus I sweat the 50s, 60s, and 70s REAL HARD.
Beloved
This movie is not for the weak at heart. Yea. Its Oprah. But try to look beyond that. No, its not as good as the book. But if you forget that the book exists, its a really great movie. Slavery and its after effects. The breakdown of the family. Its deep(i hate that word).
Kill Bill Vol.1 & 2
Gratuitous violence but with women. Tarantino could NOT go wrong. Plus it said "fuck you" on the bottom of the bride's Asics. Who thinks of stuff like that? Only the sickest...Greatness!
New Albums
Little Brother - The Minstrel Show
I got put on to Little Brother from Billy, the realest Hip Hop head ever. Anyways, I blew it off for awhile, but the album is tight. I can listen to it straight through. Further, they have a central theme and actually make it work all the way through the 17 tracks. Its funny and real. Thumbs up from Jenn.
Kanye West - Late Registration
So, I like Late Registration a lot. No, I'm not on Kanye's dick but you must give props when props are due. He pulled a lot of random rappers together and made some real hot songs. A year from today I'm sure I wont still be playing this all the way through, but it is going to last through the fall. I'll be late for that.
Rihanna - Music of the Sun
Who knew that I would actually listen to and like this cd? I mean, Pon De Replay is real tight for the club but is it great for just chillin. No. But the rest of the album is. Its sad Rihanna doesnt get the shine she deserves cause the girl is talented.
Common - Be
Its Common. In my eyes he can do no wrong. I dont care if people thought he had lost his mind after Electric Circus. He was and will always be the man. I love him always.
Eric Roberson - The Vault Volume 1.5
I dont know how new this album is. But Eric Roberson deserves nothing BUT shine. He is smooth without sounding weak. He is loving without sounding whiny. He is just a good singer. His other album is hot too. But The Vault is the best. I dont know if they sell it anywhere but Karibu though (for you non-PG or DC people its a Black Book store).
Classic Albums
Bilal - 1st Born Second
Bilal Oliver is, without a doubt, my favorite singer ever of all time. His album, which came out in the summer of 2001, still gets regular plays by me and probably always will. Hes just tight. He came to HU one year for homecoming and I thought I would die. Bilal's performances are even better than the cd. But its worth the $17 for sure.
Donny Hathaway - A Donny Hathaway Collection
I dont know if gets any better than Donny Hathaway's "To Be Young, Gifted, and Black". That should be some HBCUs alma mater I swear. His lyrics are poignant. His voice is beautiful. And you get the added bonus of repeat duets with Roberta Flack. Old school beauty and talent man.
Fiona Apple - Tidal, When the Pawn
The most soulful white girl on planet Earth. She is so angry (like me) but really just so sad (like me). The difference, she can sing a song and let ALL that out. Kanye used her producer (yes she had him back in the 90s). She has such an edge, but you can see through to the weaknesses. Its hard to explain I guess. If you understand her music you might just understand me.
Mos Def and Talib Kweli - Blackstar
I had to put a hip hop cd. I thought hard about it and this is, in my opinion, my favorite. I thought about putting Black on Both Sides, but I couldnt shaft Talib. I used to hate him but have grown to appreciate him in the last 3 years. Anyways, yes I do own some Jay Z but I would much rather listen to music about something other than cars and bitches. Blackstar...classic..
Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
I used to hate jazz. Then I mellowed out and learned to appreciate it. Miles Davis is not my favorite musician. Coltrane is in my heart. However, you can sleep on Kind of Blue. If you arent into jazz and you want to have a starter album this is the one to get. Music without words forces you to pay more attention. The slight changes in tone...feeling moods without speech. Perfection on disc.
Songs
Play - David Banner
The dirty version of this song is so nasty it makes me a little ashamed that I love it so much. I mean wow. The beat though...sick. And the dirty lyrics are great. Hot joint.
Ex Factor - Lauryn Hill
This song is so beautiful. And so real to life. It used to make me real sad. But I'm stronger now. Anyways, at least I know heart break is not just happening to me. And Lauryn Hill can sing. I mean for real sing. Not just carry a tune. She needs to drop another album NOW.
Ms. Fat Booty - Mos Def
This was the very first hip hop song I ever heard that was not about money. I know thats sad right. Well, at least its the first one I remember. I have loved Mos Def since. The song is about him falling for a girl and she playing him. Not my M.O. but I feel where he is coming from.
Stir It Up - Bob Marley
Sultry sounds of Mr. Marley. He needs no description. If you dont like Marley you are flat out a lame.
Mary Jane - BYB
I just couldnt do a list without at least one gogo reference. No this is not their song, but their version is so tight. So chill (like me). So great. How could people not love gogo???
Poets
In October 2004 I went to the Furious Flower Poetry Conference at JMU. It changed my world for real. I've always like poetry and literature, but this really renewed my appreciation for the art form. I encountered all of these poets while there. I was in awe before I saw them and brought nearly to tears after. I am so dramatic sometimes, but it was serious. I always feel like I am alone in my appreciation for the written word. It made me happy to feel like I (here comes the cliche moment) "belonged." So, if you have some time pick up a book or search these poets online. There stuff is beyond Explanation so I wont try. They are all great and deserve recognition.
Sonia Sanchez
I secretly write haikus. This dude did a poem at a Saracen open mic about how only bad poets did haikus (yes he was a hater and SWEARS he is talented and is not PLUS he has a speech impediment). Sanchez does the sickest haikus ever. In 17 syllables she will make your soul ache. Send shivers down your spine. That takes such control and yet such creativity. You cant tell me shes not the greatest.
(when we say good-bye
i want yo tongue inside my
mouth dancing hello)
E. Ethelbert Miller
Miller has this particular set of poems told from the perspective of a little boy. The fact that he can so eloquently speak from the mind of a child and yet be so profound is amazing. I dont use the P word often, but I will with Miller. He also has a lot of sexual stuff, which I dont normally enjoy. But its so sexual without being raunchy. Hes great.
(I wanted to love you
without lust
but I am not the saint
I claimed to be
forgive me for taking
too much
maybe tomorrow
things will be different
it is unfortunate
that the sun does not
travel backwards)
Nikki Giovanni
Giovanni is flat out undeniably gangsta. She will say anything. She will do anything. She does not give a damn. I adore her for that. Giovanni says whats on her mind and does not concern herself with what will follow. Her poems and so tough. She just knows she is one of the Greats. She is right.
(I am so hip even my errors are correct...)
Lucille Clifton
Clifton's poetry makes me cry. She has a poem about abortions and I cried. I've never had an abortion, but her words to describe the loss were just so poignant that I could not hold the tears back. When I met her I almost cried. I was so flushed because Dr. Prince made me go speak. She is the epitome of strong Black woman. You feel it in every poem every verse every line every word. She is the definitive poet.
Haki Madhubuti (Don L. Lee)
When I think of Madhubuti (who changed his name from Don L. Lee) and his work I just see a black fist in the air. This man is great. The best thing about him is that he wants nothing more than to pass on the art form. He wants the next geneartion to know as much as he does. That, to me, is impressive.
So...thats it. My favorite things.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Happy Birthday to Me!
I am officially 22 years old. Last night I went to a japanese restaurant and out for drinks. Good times. Today, I got together with my family at my Grandmothers house. I have lots of cake left (for those of you who dont know, I dont like cake myself) so you can come by for a slice if you'd like. Anyways, I got gifts and spent time with friends and family. Good times. Oh yea, and I've decided that I am going to try to be nicer to some people. So my 22nd year will be the Year of Niceness and Smiles. This, of course, is not to be confused with me being fake. If I dont like you, I STILL dont like you. Lastly, THANK YOU to everyone who called or imed me today. Its nice to know people remember. And Keva of course...greatest Best Friend of all time...(RB you are great too).Moving on...
I got a new tattoo. Its on my left wrist. If I were smarter I'd put a pic on this post of the tat. But Hill didnt tell me how to do that so I cant. But if you want to see it I have one. Moving on...
I saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose. That is a scary movie. I'm not one for horror flicks, but its a must see. If you dont believe in God or the devil then dont waste your time. Its only good if you have a believe in a higher power. I rarely giving glowing reviews of movies...so you really should go see it. Moving on...
I majored in English at Hampton University. This does not mean I am interested in discussing grammatical errors with ANYONE. If you do not know the differece between there, their, and theyre its not my problem and I dont give a damn. Further, do not come to me with your discussions of the latest novel you read. I, again, dont give a damn. I am not impressed with adults who can read. I love to read. That does not mean I expect others to pretend to love to read just to hold my attention. Thats annoying. I see through the show. But I still love Black people. Moving on...
If you do enjoy reading I would suggest White Boy Shuffly by Paul Beatty. Its good. I'm not going to write a review on my blog but its a good book. Not difficult to read or understand. Try to do something other than watch tv and play ps2 for a hour or so a day. It will make you feel good. Moving on..
Well thats about it for Miss Jennifer. Hopefully it wont take me another 2 weeks to write again. However, the fact that no one comments makes me feel like it doesnt matter. Do not im me and complain about me not blogging ifyou dont comment...peace...
I got a new tattoo. Its on my left wrist. If I were smarter I'd put a pic on this post of the tat. But Hill didnt tell me how to do that so I cant. But if you want to see it I have one. Moving on...
I saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose. That is a scary movie. I'm not one for horror flicks, but its a must see. If you dont believe in God or the devil then dont waste your time. Its only good if you have a believe in a higher power. I rarely giving glowing reviews of movies...so you really should go see it. Moving on...
I majored in English at Hampton University. This does not mean I am interested in discussing grammatical errors with ANYONE. If you do not know the differece between there, their, and theyre its not my problem and I dont give a damn. Further, do not come to me with your discussions of the latest novel you read. I, again, dont give a damn. I am not impressed with adults who can read. I love to read. That does not mean I expect others to pretend to love to read just to hold my attention. Thats annoying. I see through the show. But I still love Black people. Moving on...
If you do enjoy reading I would suggest White Boy Shuffly by Paul Beatty. Its good. I'm not going to write a review on my blog but its a good book. Not difficult to read or understand. Try to do something other than watch tv and play ps2 for a hour or so a day. It will make you feel good. Moving on..
Well thats about it for Miss Jennifer. Hopefully it wont take me another 2 weeks to write again. However, the fact that no one comments makes me feel like it doesnt matter. Do not im me and complain about me not blogging ifyou dont comment...peace...
Thursday, August 25, 2005
A Bunch of Randomness...Man!
I dont know how to finish blogs so I am just going to write some incomplete thoughts. I dont care if you dont like it. The sad thing is this is how I carry on conversations. My phone conversations never really end...which is why I just try to avoid the phone altogether. Here goes...
"My Birthday"
My 22nd birthday is in 16 days. September 11. Its my first birthday in 4 years that I will actually get to spend with my family. I'm happy. My Grandmother is more excited than I am. I asked for a crucifix as a gift from her, so now she thinks I am ultra-religious, which of course makes her VERY happy. For those of you who are wondering what to get me or dont have my address to send cards please just ask. I'm not posting that on the internet, but I'll be more than happy to share. Regardless...as long as I get a few calls I'm sure I'll feel special. I'm easy to please...
"South Carolinian Encounter"
My mother and I went out to eat. This old man walked by the table and looked at me. He looked at my mother. Stood behind our booth and stared at me as though I couldnt see him. Then he left just to come back 2 minutes later. Now, I'm a very nice person. I try hard not to be rude. But can I enjoy the company of my mother without being disturbed by dirty old men?! He walked to the table and attempted to engage my mother and I in coversation. He asked me where I was going to school. I said "I'm finished with school for now." He said "well, you should think about college." I said "I did. I went. I graduated. Its over. I've moved on." He said "You should finish college and get your degree. I did and now I work at the steel mill in Charleston, SC." Point: Is saying that you work at a steel mill really a glowing recommendation for a college degree? Is that how African Americans want to represent the privileges of higher education?
"New Friends"
Alexander Reynald LeMaine is my new friend. He is a really smart guy. Though I knew him prior to graduation, I cannot recall ever having a serious conversation with him. I mean, the whole soaking-almonds-in-water to "activate the enzymes" thing threw me off. But I've come to realize that he is a really interesting guy. All this to say I was way too mean while I was at Hampton. Its sad because its only been a few months and I already realize that I gave the student population a really hard time. But its ok. I can redeem myself. I will now be a nice friendly Jennifer. Get ready. I might actually smile.
"Hustle & Flow"
I loved this movie. It was the best Negro Comedy I've seen in years. Oh...it wasnt a comedy? Well then why the hell is everyone saying its so good? Why is it wonderful to again glorify the Black Pimps & Hos. Can we have a movie about some middle class suburbian black people? Black people who dont rap (like Hustle & Flow)or play sports (like Love & Basketball). I mean, the movies were cute and all, but a bit unrealistic to me. Why wasnt "A Different World" a movie? That was real. I love that show. I'm about to make a movie. I think I can do it. I'm pretty smart and Keva was a film major. Get ready. Miss McLaughlin. The Director.
"Jenn's an Old School Girl?"
Today this Hampton man told me I was too old school because I didnt approach guys like that. Am I wrong for wanting to be approached rather than giving off that Hampton Groupie Desperate vibe? Can I want to be wanted without that being considered "playing games"? I mean, let me know for real. I'm trying to grow as an individual. Is being chill really a negative? Is my sassiness a problem? Wouldnt my smart mouth take me out of the old school category? I totally expect comments here people...
"My Ghetto Fabulous Cellular Phone"
For those of you who dont already know...my cell phone is broken. I am not paying any money for a new one. So if you call me, please leave a voice mail. Otherwise, I wont know you called. Yes, I do see you calling sometimes and ignore it, but I will get back to you eventually. Dont take it personal. I'm just not a phone person all the time. I hate cell phones for real. If you really want to call me you would figure out a way to get my house for number. If you can get that I would have nothing but respect and HAVE to answer the phone. (E. Hill...this does not include you. I always answer when you call!)
"Congratulations"
Congratulations to Jamar and his fiance Cori on their engagement! Congratulations to Vern and his soon-to-be wife Debra (wedding Labor Day weekend). Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Wesley Brooks (yea...shout out to Erin).
Well...Thats All Folks...leave comments...peace...
"My Birthday"
My 22nd birthday is in 16 days. September 11. Its my first birthday in 4 years that I will actually get to spend with my family. I'm happy. My Grandmother is more excited than I am. I asked for a crucifix as a gift from her, so now she thinks I am ultra-religious, which of course makes her VERY happy. For those of you who are wondering what to get me or dont have my address to send cards please just ask. I'm not posting that on the internet, but I'll be more than happy to share. Regardless...as long as I get a few calls I'm sure I'll feel special. I'm easy to please...
"South Carolinian Encounter"
My mother and I went out to eat. This old man walked by the table and looked at me. He looked at my mother. Stood behind our booth and stared at me as though I couldnt see him. Then he left just to come back 2 minutes later. Now, I'm a very nice person. I try hard not to be rude. But can I enjoy the company of my mother without being disturbed by dirty old men?! He walked to the table and attempted to engage my mother and I in coversation. He asked me where I was going to school. I said "I'm finished with school for now." He said "well, you should think about college." I said "I did. I went. I graduated. Its over. I've moved on." He said "You should finish college and get your degree. I did and now I work at the steel mill in Charleston, SC." Point: Is saying that you work at a steel mill really a glowing recommendation for a college degree? Is that how African Americans want to represent the privileges of higher education?
"New Friends"
Alexander Reynald LeMaine is my new friend. He is a really smart guy. Though I knew him prior to graduation, I cannot recall ever having a serious conversation with him. I mean, the whole soaking-almonds-in-water to "activate the enzymes" thing threw me off. But I've come to realize that he is a really interesting guy. All this to say I was way too mean while I was at Hampton. Its sad because its only been a few months and I already realize that I gave the student population a really hard time. But its ok. I can redeem myself. I will now be a nice friendly Jennifer. Get ready. I might actually smile.
"Hustle & Flow"
I loved this movie. It was the best Negro Comedy I've seen in years. Oh...it wasnt a comedy? Well then why the hell is everyone saying its so good? Why is it wonderful to again glorify the Black Pimps & Hos. Can we have a movie about some middle class suburbian black people? Black people who dont rap (like Hustle & Flow)or play sports (like Love & Basketball). I mean, the movies were cute and all, but a bit unrealistic to me. Why wasnt "A Different World" a movie? That was real. I love that show. I'm about to make a movie. I think I can do it. I'm pretty smart and Keva was a film major. Get ready. Miss McLaughlin. The Director.
"Jenn's an Old School Girl?"
Today this Hampton man told me I was too old school because I didnt approach guys like that. Am I wrong for wanting to be approached rather than giving off that Hampton Groupie Desperate vibe? Can I want to be wanted without that being considered "playing games"? I mean, let me know for real. I'm trying to grow as an individual. Is being chill really a negative? Is my sassiness a problem? Wouldnt my smart mouth take me out of the old school category? I totally expect comments here people...
"My Ghetto Fabulous Cellular Phone"
For those of you who dont already know...my cell phone is broken. I am not paying any money for a new one. So if you call me, please leave a voice mail. Otherwise, I wont know you called. Yes, I do see you calling sometimes and ignore it, but I will get back to you eventually. Dont take it personal. I'm just not a phone person all the time. I hate cell phones for real. If you really want to call me you would figure out a way to get my house for number. If you can get that I would have nothing but respect and HAVE to answer the phone. (E. Hill...this does not include you. I always answer when you call!)
"Congratulations"
Congratulations to Jamar and his fiance Cori on their engagement! Congratulations to Vern and his soon-to-be wife Debra (wedding Labor Day weekend). Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Wesley Brooks (yea...shout out to Erin).
Well...Thats All Folks...leave comments...peace...
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Stealing By Proxy
So, I clearly didnt have anything to write about, so I havent had a blog in like 2 weeks. I was reading E. Hill's random listand decided that I would do the same. Erin stole the idea from Mr. LeMaine, so I guess you can call this biting...but at least I did something new on my blog. (Jamar...here you go...I know you've been waiting for this day...)
1. I am the oldest daughter of the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter.
2. My middle name is Alysia and I hate it. But I like using the A.
3. I have lots and lots of purses. Everytime I go to the mall I buy a new one.
4. I have more guy friends than girl friends.
5. I am Roman Catholic...and yes I do go to church and have a rosary.
6. I love my Rosary. It was a gift from my Grandmother (no shes not dead) and she got it blessed for me.
7. I secretly wrote poetry in college in the back of all my notebooks.
8. In class, I did crossword puzzles that I took out of books so that the profs didnt know.
9. I own a book by Iceberg Slim. Yes, I am a bit ashamed.
10. I still have not unpacked my stuff from Hampton.
11. I LOVE Orange Vitamin Water.
12. When I dream, I dont see pictures. I see words and hear my voice reading them. (Yea, I'm a little strange)
13. My best friend's name is Keva. We have been friends since 7th grade.
14. When we were in 7th Grade we used to dress alike sometimes (i hope she doesnt see this cause she might be sad I revealed that secret).
15. On my 19th birthday, Brandon Coney, a very close friend, sent me a text message saying "Happy Bombing of the World Trade Center Day."
16. My BDay is 9*11
17. I have a crush on this guy I met freshman year at Hampton...but I didnt like him until I left Hampton.
18. I hate when people ask me what the tattoo on my foot means. Its annoying.
19. I watch Law & Order religiously.
20. I read during commerical breaks.
21. My bday is 3 days before my fathers; his is 3 days before my sisters.
22. I have 3 pairs of glasses and 2 pairs of sunglasses. They are all in heavy rotation.
23. I started wearing glasses when Mr. Chapman sat me in the back of biology in 9th grade.
24. I used to date a boy who is 2 years younger than me.
25. It was a big mistake.
26. I used to date a boy who is 2 years older than me.
27. That too was a big mistake (even though he is a wonderful guy).
28. My mother sees my children in her dreams. (They dont exist yet)
29. My hair has not been relaxed since March.
30. When I first met E. Hill, I thought she was snotty.
31. I was right (HA...but I still love her...)
32. I have a Cabbage Patch kid with my birthday.
33. He is hispanic.
34. My socks never match my clothes. I only have 3 pairs of white socks.
35. I was trying to do 101 random things to top Alex, but I dont know if I am going to make it.
36. I majored in English, but I hate writing.
37. I like cuddling.
38. People make fun of my eating habits. They dont know, but it really does hurt my feelings.
39. I taught in a summer program.
40. I sleep on my stomach.
41. I want the Jordans that come out in December in Black and Red.
42. I quit working for the student newspaper, but unlike Erin, I didnt miss it.
43. Daarel stole kisses from me twice.
44. I bought my mother a mini ipod because she got good grades.
45. She said it was the best gift she ever received.
46. I fall asleep with my glasses on amost every night.
47. I have a sister and brother...Sydney and Miles.
48. Ernie Barnes is my favorite artist.
49. I used to wonder if he was related to Dr. Paula Barnes (Eng Prof.)
50. I cant keep secrets from my mother, aunt, cousin Angel, cousin Adrienne, and grandmother.
51. If one knows, we all know.
52. When I go out at night, my mother waits up for me. She denies it...but shes always awake.
53. My mother tries to intimidate the guys that come around me.
54. It works 99.6% of the time.
55. I had a crush on my friend's older brother for my entire high school career.
56. He went to Hampton too.
57. I was the most well behaved student on the Senior Trip.
58. I use Sesame Body Butter from the Body Shop.
59. It costs $16. I am sad every time I buy it.
60. But a Sesame set would be a wonderful birthday gift.
61. I regularly babysit drinks.
62. It upsets my mother that I can purchase alcohol.
63. I like Alex LeMaine'swriting. I secretly wish he would write something for me.
64. I got some sort of sick satisfaction from complimenting Alex. He doesnt know how to take compliments. I hope he reads it.
65. I really do want him to write me something though...that was serious.
66. I like when boys whisper in my ear. Not dirty stuff, just regular conversation quietly.
67. I was mooned by someone earlier this summer.
68. It reminded me of Austin,; he too does stupid things when he feels awkward.
69. I think I would make a good detective because I notice little things.
70. I'm too lazy to go through the police academy.
71. I wanted to go into forensics when I was in high school, but dead children upset my stomach.
72. I had a mental breakdown last semester. I was hysterical after being told that my draft wasnt good enough again.
73. Mr. Foster made me sit on the roof of Armstrong.
74. I sat out there for a good 30-35 minutes unattended.
75. I couldve jumped, but I dont want to go to hell.
76. I cried at graduation when Dr. Prince approached me.
77. I want to be like her when I grow up.
78. I had a Digimon comforter and sheet set freshman year.
79. I was in Erin Brooks's (used to be Walsh) wedding in June.
80. I thought I was going to die it was so hot.
81. I dont answer my cell phone often.
82. I see it ringing, I just dont like talking on the phone.
83. I dont drive.
84. I am addicted to Fruit Punch sodas and McDonald's ice cream cones.
85. Erin calls me an "EMF"...English Major Freak.
86. I dont like hair touching my neck.
87. I cant whistle and it really pisses me off.
88. I keep my cds in alphabetical order.
89. My 2 cd cases are full...
90. I hate when people buy me gifts I dont like and they think they have done amazing jobs. I hate faking it.
91. Best gift ever...A Build-A-Bear for high school graduation. His name is BranJuan(i know...i didnt name him) and he wears a white cap and gown like I did that day. It made me cry.
92. One of my jerk ex boyfriends gave it to me.
93. Once my friend Austin brought me food from Burger King. When I opened the burger wrapper he had taken a bite of my sandwich. I was REAL angry. He laughed real hard.
94. I like giving hugs...and I'm really good at it.
95. Josh (my really close but platonic friend)wrote me a poem at the end of the semester. I cried when I read it and then again when he left.
96. I like receiving letters, emails, cards, etc. But I rarely get them.
97. Cards mean more to me than gifts.
98. I like big and tall men even though I'm 5'2".
99. If I had it my way, I'd marry a football player that is dark skinned.
100. I like movie popcorn.
101. I only did 101 to top Mr. LeMaine, who did 100. I cant believe I did it.
102. I stole the title from Alex too.
There it is, 102 random Jennifer things. If you dont know me, this list was of no help to you. I find humor in that. Well...what do you think?
1. I am the oldest daughter of the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter.
2. My middle name is Alysia and I hate it. But I like using the A.
3. I have lots and lots of purses. Everytime I go to the mall I buy a new one.
4. I have more guy friends than girl friends.
5. I am Roman Catholic...and yes I do go to church and have a rosary.
6. I love my Rosary. It was a gift from my Grandmother (no shes not dead) and she got it blessed for me.
7. I secretly wrote poetry in college in the back of all my notebooks.
8. In class, I did crossword puzzles that I took out of books so that the profs didnt know.
9. I own a book by Iceberg Slim. Yes, I am a bit ashamed.
10. I still have not unpacked my stuff from Hampton.
11. I LOVE Orange Vitamin Water.
12. When I dream, I dont see pictures. I see words and hear my voice reading them. (Yea, I'm a little strange)
13. My best friend's name is Keva. We have been friends since 7th grade.
14. When we were in 7th Grade we used to dress alike sometimes (i hope she doesnt see this cause she might be sad I revealed that secret).
15. On my 19th birthday, Brandon Coney, a very close friend, sent me a text message saying "Happy Bombing of the World Trade Center Day."
16. My BDay is 9*11
17. I have a crush on this guy I met freshman year at Hampton...but I didnt like him until I left Hampton.
18. I hate when people ask me what the tattoo on my foot means. Its annoying.
19. I watch Law & Order religiously.
20. I read during commerical breaks.
21. My bday is 3 days before my fathers; his is 3 days before my sisters.
22. I have 3 pairs of glasses and 2 pairs of sunglasses. They are all in heavy rotation.
23. I started wearing glasses when Mr. Chapman sat me in the back of biology in 9th grade.
24. I used to date a boy who is 2 years younger than me.
25. It was a big mistake.
26. I used to date a boy who is 2 years older than me.
27. That too was a big mistake (even though he is a wonderful guy).
28. My mother sees my children in her dreams. (They dont exist yet)
29. My hair has not been relaxed since March.
30. When I first met E. Hill, I thought she was snotty.
31. I was right (HA...but I still love her...)
32. I have a Cabbage Patch kid with my birthday.
33. He is hispanic.
34. My socks never match my clothes. I only have 3 pairs of white socks.
35. I was trying to do 101 random things to top Alex, but I dont know if I am going to make it.
36. I majored in English, but I hate writing.
37. I like cuddling.
38. People make fun of my eating habits. They dont know, but it really does hurt my feelings.
39. I taught in a summer program.
40. I sleep on my stomach.
41. I want the Jordans that come out in December in Black and Red.
42. I quit working for the student newspaper, but unlike Erin, I didnt miss it.
43. Daarel stole kisses from me twice.
44. I bought my mother a mini ipod because she got good grades.
45. She said it was the best gift she ever received.
46. I fall asleep with my glasses on amost every night.
47. I have a sister and brother...Sydney and Miles.
48. Ernie Barnes is my favorite artist.
49. I used to wonder if he was related to Dr. Paula Barnes (Eng Prof.)
50. I cant keep secrets from my mother, aunt, cousin Angel, cousin Adrienne, and grandmother.
51. If one knows, we all know.
52. When I go out at night, my mother waits up for me. She denies it...but shes always awake.
53. My mother tries to intimidate the guys that come around me.
54. It works 99.6% of the time.
55. I had a crush on my friend's older brother for my entire high school career.
56. He went to Hampton too.
57. I was the most well behaved student on the Senior Trip.
58. I use Sesame Body Butter from the Body Shop.
59. It costs $16. I am sad every time I buy it.
60. But a Sesame set would be a wonderful birthday gift.
61. I regularly babysit drinks.
62. It upsets my mother that I can purchase alcohol.
63. I like Alex LeMaine'swriting. I secretly wish he would write something for me.
64. I got some sort of sick satisfaction from complimenting Alex. He doesnt know how to take compliments. I hope he reads it.
65. I really do want him to write me something though...that was serious.
66. I like when boys whisper in my ear. Not dirty stuff, just regular conversation quietly.
67. I was mooned by someone earlier this summer.
68. It reminded me of Austin,; he too does stupid things when he feels awkward.
69. I think I would make a good detective because I notice little things.
70. I'm too lazy to go through the police academy.
71. I wanted to go into forensics when I was in high school, but dead children upset my stomach.
72. I had a mental breakdown last semester. I was hysterical after being told that my draft wasnt good enough again.
73. Mr. Foster made me sit on the roof of Armstrong.
74. I sat out there for a good 30-35 minutes unattended.
75. I couldve jumped, but I dont want to go to hell.
76. I cried at graduation when Dr. Prince approached me.
77. I want to be like her when I grow up.
78. I had a Digimon comforter and sheet set freshman year.
79. I was in Erin Brooks's (used to be Walsh) wedding in June.
80. I thought I was going to die it was so hot.
81. I dont answer my cell phone often.
82. I see it ringing, I just dont like talking on the phone.
83. I dont drive.
84. I am addicted to Fruit Punch sodas and McDonald's ice cream cones.
85. Erin calls me an "EMF"...English Major Freak.
86. I dont like hair touching my neck.
87. I cant whistle and it really pisses me off.
88. I keep my cds in alphabetical order.
89. My 2 cd cases are full...
90. I hate when people buy me gifts I dont like and they think they have done amazing jobs. I hate faking it.
91. Best gift ever...A Build-A-Bear for high school graduation. His name is BranJuan(i know...i didnt name him) and he wears a white cap and gown like I did that day. It made me cry.
92. One of my jerk ex boyfriends gave it to me.
93. Once my friend Austin brought me food from Burger King. When I opened the burger wrapper he had taken a bite of my sandwich. I was REAL angry. He laughed real hard.
94. I like giving hugs...and I'm really good at it.
95. Josh (my really close but platonic friend)wrote me a poem at the end of the semester. I cried when I read it and then again when he left.
96. I like receiving letters, emails, cards, etc. But I rarely get them.
97. Cards mean more to me than gifts.
98. I like big and tall men even though I'm 5'2".
99. If I had it my way, I'd marry a football player that is dark skinned.
100. I like movie popcorn.
101. I only did 101 to top Mr. LeMaine, who did 100. I cant believe I did it.
102. I stole the title from Alex too.
There it is, 102 random Jennifer things. If you dont know me, this list was of no help to you. I find humor in that. Well...what do you think?
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Miss Jennifer...blogging???
So E.Hill sent me a link to her blog. I was a bit surprised. Is everyone blogging except for me? Why have I not been introduced to this cult-like activity? So I started a blog. Who knows what I'll write...because I dont really have much to say. But maybe in my daily life I'll find some cute little anecdote that I just have to pass on...maybe not.
Anyways...the "deep as desire" thing...I stole it from a poem. It sounded really...uh...deep. I like it.
Well...thats it for me...any ideas for my next blog??
Anyways...the "deep as desire" thing...I stole it from a poem. It sounded really...uh...deep. I like it.
Well...thats it for me...any ideas for my next blog??
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